Conversations
by Kinasha15
Summary: The Bond is still there, Snoke lied. That much is certain, but what happens now? These two will have to figure out the pieces together.
1. Understanding

AN: Thank you for any constructive critiques. I obviously own nothing and I'm clearly not an author or writer. But i hope you enjoy this dabble. Have a good day.

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Kylo Ren would have preferred it if Rey had gone back to shooting him. It hurt less than their current stalemate. Six weeks, that's how long it had been since Crait. Anger had always been a constant companion, but with her, it never seemed to come as easily as it once had. What used to control his heart could barely scratch the surface now.

She rejected her destiny, threw away what she could become, threw his sacrifice in his face, and she left him. Yet here he stood watching her and anger refused to come. Anger was his companion it helped to keep the hurt away, and without it, the pain overshadowed all else.

Their Bond should have died with Snoke, and yet it lived. No, it thrived. They had dealt with it as best they could - by ignoring each other. Well, that wasn't entirely true, as Kylo Ren could never completely ignore her. But he stayed silent, just as she did. But they didn't need words to communicate, searching the other's feelings was all too easy in this state. He kept searching for some inkling of hatred in her feeling, but it was all in vain.

Rey was a mystery to him, his vision had felt so real and yet it hadn't come true. If his vision was false then what was her destiny? Where did **this** fit into everything? Where was his place in all of this? Was his vision right and it just wasn't time yet? Curiosity was a new companion for the young man, as he studied her for the past six weeks. She'd yet to return to her old hairstyle and seemed to remain content wearing mostly grey clothing. She's become reserved with him, not as fiery as she once was. But these were superficial changes. The answers he sought still eluded him. After six weeks of observation and no progress towards the answers he sought, meant it was time to change tactics.

"You're not angry." The words lept from him unbidden, without any form of tact. But that wasn't uncommon for him either. It was clear either through the Bond or basic sight that Rey had not expected him to speak as shock dominated her features. Slowly, it ebbed away to a more sorrowful expression. "No" she whispered, almost inaudible but it confirmed his observation.

Kylo Ren decided to press forward, for while he could feel her emotions they provided little answers and he wasn't about to let the opportunity slip by. "Why not?"

Soft brown eyes latched onto his own waiting for a breath before countering "You're not angry." she mimicked his tactless observation. He wasn't shocked with Rey's deflection of his answer. But it did provide another answer, she could still feel his emotions just as he could hers. That meant the Bond had remained unchanged with Snoke's death, in fact, it was growing in strength. These moments weren't as brief as they used to be, or as disorienting. Kylo Ren let a small sigh go as he felt relief in one of his hypothesis being correct; Snoke lied. Softly he shook his head in response to her words "No." he parroted back.

The two went back to silence for a moment before Rey looked at him, curiosity infecting her as well. "Why not?" she parroted back before heaving a sigh and squaring her shoulders. "I thought you would want to be angry, doesn't it make you stronger?" There it was, her defiant nature along with the stubborn set of her jaw. It was true, she didn't know much about the Force, or the Jedi or any of this but that didn't make a damn bit of difference to her. She demanded to be treated as an equal. And after matching him in the throne room as they fought over the lightsaber he was forced to admit that they were equals. At least in the eyes of the Force.

"It does." He admitted freely and looked at the ground. "It's difficult when it comes to you." Kylo Ren admitted, a little less freely. It was fair to offer some answers if he would receive some in return. "It's a new experience for me." he flippantly added.

The vulnerability was one of those feelings his anger had typically sheltered him from in the past. Rey seemed to be especially gifted at bringing out this side of him. Compassion was most likely the culprit for that, for one who had been without it for so long Kylo Ren let himself indulge in its warm embrace - for now. For now, Rey looked at him seeking out the part of him he had hoped died long ago. "Ben"

"Ah, there it is a dead boy's name." He whispered with a clear undercurrent of bitterness, as he met her piercing gaze with his own intense gaze. Daring her to respond, to see the truth in how many times Ben solo had died. That Kylo Ren was the one who had killed him, survived him even.

The young woman kept her gaze on the man before her, never backing down as others might have. "I don't believe that." her voice was soft but held the steel of conviction. Like on the battlefield she was decisive and headstrong as she pushed through every attempt to perry her blows she continued. "Ben, you aren't dead and because of that, you can still make a change. You don't have to keep running away from-"

"From the Light?" He interrupted still with a bitterness to him, expecting her words her compassion her feelings to be all for her goal of manipulating back to the light. Manipulation would make sense, everyone was manipulative, his life had taught him that so he assumed she was too. Wasn't she? Another question he pondered in regards to her.

Rey sighed and slumped her shoulders slightly at the interruption before she pressed on in her soft voice. "From peace."

The dark haired man shook his head slightly as he watched those soulful soft brown eyes, keeping a close eye on the Bond to check her words against her emotions. "Monster's don't deserve peace."

"So don't be a monster." That shocked him, as her open naivety commonly unguarded him. If he had been more open in his expressions he might have laughed instead he let loose a snort. "You used to call me the monster. You've lost that look in your eyes like you had in the forest. Where did it go, Rey?" He mused as he watched her fascinated as he tried to pull these two versions of her he'd experienced - hateful and compassionate. All to the same person - the same monster.

Waiting a moment to collect herself Rey spoke in that same soft tone "You're not a monster." she whispered answering the question he would never ask her. "A monster wouldn't have saved me." Before the words came to his mind she felt the bubblings of a rebuttal, that same defense to throw aside any good thoughts of himself that weren't connected to his prowess. So she continued before he could perry her blow, the follow through was most important. "A monster wouldn't feel compassion for me. A monster wouldn't try to comfort an enemy." While Kylo Ren held onto most of his emotions in an iron grip, Rey was more free with those same emotions. As such she let a small smirk tug on her lips as she spoke, "I cut your face, I shot you with a blaster, I screamed at you, insulted you. And yet you didn't retaliate, you never made me feel guilty for hurting you." And just like that she had disarmed him, she rushed into his guard so he could not execute any defense and her attacks were fierce but concentrated. Then she went in for the kill. "You are not a monster." Even though her voice wavered as she spoke, he could feel the conviction of these beliefs as if she had screamed them in his ear.

"I should be." Kylo Ren countered in a hushed tone _'I'd be at peace if I was.'_ He thought to himself. The Bond kept nothing safe and Rey felt the safe hatred as clearly as she felt her own on dark days. "I should be nothing." She offered and shrugged, trying not to let that word sting as much as it did.

Heat entered his gaze as his jaw clenched before he spoke, with tense anger radiating off him "You were never, nothing to me." He hated how she clung to her past, as it brought her so much pain. Just as his own past brought him pain. At his words, she let a sad smile bloom on her face before she leaned forward bracing her arms on her knees. "And you're not a monster to me." There it was, she had baited him into connecting with these feelings she had for him; compassion and hope.

Wisely, Kylo Ren decided not to challenge or refute her statement. Instead, he mirrored her pose and leaned forward to carefully inspect her features. "We should be angry with each other." His tone finally freeing itself of that bitterness and adopted a softer hushed tone. Remembering the sting of her rejection, the pain of her coldness towards him these past weeks his body tensed slightly, hands clutching the other. "We hurt each other." He watched as that sad smile disappeared, knowing she recalled her own pain that he had caused her. "And we will hurt each other again." As he said this Kylo Ren could feel the truth in those words. There would always be - pain. That truth seemed to hang staining the air and galaxies between them. Kylo Ren watched as tears streamed down her cheeks slowly, and he knew she felt it too. "We should hate each other," Rey whispered and tried to hold back her tears. His restraint was clearly still quite strong, as he held himself back from trying to erase her pain or to simply brush away her tears. Her simple tears stopped him from continuing, he didn't know how to handle his own vulnerability let alone hers. But she was used to her emotions and pressed on "But it's difficult to hate someone when you understand them."

The scared man had to concede with her answer, she was right just as he was. "Even if we disagree we still understand each other." He said softly as he tore his eyes from her face and instead looked at her hands. Kylo Ren knew he was not easy to understand. And yet the one place he should have never found it was the only place he found understanding and compassion. It was clear to him, she didn't want him for his power or ancestry as Snoke or Luke had. She wasn't terrified of him like his parents or hated him like the rest of the galaxy. She saw him clearly; scars and all and yet she was still offering compassion and understanding. He treasured it, and her for offering it.

Slowly his dark eyes lifted to catch her own again, her tears drying on her face. He knew she felt his compassion for her, but he wanted to explain it as she had. Yet he was not as well versed in expressing himself. And just like all things, this moment was coming to an end. He watched the world blur and fade, the sound of his own lonely surroundings coming back to him slowly. She had been vulnerable with him, and knowing that she understood he pushed himself to do something he would never admit to - plead. "Can we keep talking?" he asked softly, hoping the next time he saw her they wouldn't be so cold in the beginning. Rey nodded her assent to his question before she leaned back. "See you later, Ben." She spoke in a relaxed tone and he let himself lean back into his original position as he kept his focus on her soft brown eyes while the world faded "Until next time, Rey." And just like a candle being snuffed out the Bond faded, yet like smoke the touches of her emotions stayed with him. He hadn't gotten all of his answers, but it was a start. Strangely, that gave him a small sliver of something he'd sought for so long: peace.


	2. Crossroads

AN: Thank you for your interest. After reviewing the way this story seems to be going I am changing the rating, just in case. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

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It was a week before Kylo Ren felt that subtle change in the atmosphere, which he had come to know so well. He turned his head a fraction towards his Knights behind him. "Go" he gave his command with a relaxed grace which only one who was accustomed to power could possess. Dutifully his Knights left him, and once he was alone he waited for the link to solidify. The young man wasn't expecting the nerves that shook his hands, and so to quell them he clasped them behind his back beneath his cape, hidden from view. As he waited he wondered how this time would go; would she go back on their deal? Or would she speak to him and finally give him the answers he craved. He hoped that he would get his answers soon and that these answers would free his mind with thoughts of her.

This was how Rey found him, imposing as ever, his impeccable posture only helped to accentuate his height. The young woman watched the back of him warily for a moment wondering if she should just ignore him. It would have been easier if they never saw one another again - except on opposite sides of a battlefield. But that was no longer an option, the Force seemed to demand that they connect. As he had pointed out not so long ago, this was neither of their doing because it would kill them both. Not to mention, she didn't want to ignore him. But that was a thought she would bury down for now as she wasn't ready to face that yet. "Hello" she whispered and she half expected him to not hear her soft voice.

But of course, he did and responded with his own hushed tone, "Hello." He turned to face her finally with an impassive face, and he watched while she shifted under his gaze. He noted first that her hair was unbound from any of her usual styles, she wore what appeared to be her common tunic and pants but her arm wrappings were gone and she was barefooted.

More questions bloomed into his mind, distracting him from the ones which laid there before he set eyes on her. She shrugged "I was going to bed." she explained to his silent ponderings and watched as he nodded accepting her answer.

The silence which enveloped them felt comfortable, and it's what helped Rey feel less on edge enough to speak freely. "You didn't wake me. I always have trouble sleeping." She shrugged before she looked at him wondering if he had difficulty finding sleep as well. She found herself hoping that wasn't true for some reason.

"Dreams?" the deep baritone of his voice pulling her from her thoughts, it was relaxing to her and reminded her of the night he had listened to her simply talk in the hut.

But today she wasn't willing to discuss her sleep or her dreams."Why are you always so quiet?" She blurted out abruptly changing their topic of discussion.

Kylo Ren thought for a moment on this before responding. "I want to know more about you." He explained easily enough in the same hushed tones "If I dominate the conversation I learn nothing." Rey knew he spoke truthfully, she could feel it as if it were her own. That was one benefit of these talks, they would not be tainted by lies. Half truths maybe but not lies.

Rey frowned at his admission and after a moment she shook her head. "There's not much about me. You already know everything." She said disregarding his curiosity about her. She wasn't all that interesting, just a scavenger from an awful planet, whose parents were... She cut herself off from continuing on that trains of thought, she knew very well where it led and it was nothing that was helpful to her.

Kylo Ren easily picked up on the conflict she felt, the twinge of anger the held onto her words and her very bones at sometimes. Wisely he did not comment on his observation, instead, he responded to her deflection. "Not true."He started before taking a few steps towards her until she was within arms reach. "I don't know why you left." He let his words hang in the air, as he could feel the sting of rejection that she had left him with.

The young woman should have felt some fear as the Supreme Leader of the fearsome First Order stalked his way towards her. But nothing could be further from the truth. She was not afraid of Kylo Ren, mostly annoyed at him and his line of questioning in this moment. "Yes, you do." She snapped at him before crossing her arms and leaning her weight on her back foot while she regarded him; challenging him in a way to refute her statement.

The flame in her eyes had come back to life, he noticed and it told him that she was ready for a fight. He recalled that a blaster firing at him was in the realm of possibilities from her reactions. But he pressed on, they were past the point of blaster fire - or so he hoped. "No, I don't. We could have created something new. All of this could have stopped." His face was impassive as ever, but Rey didn't need to see his emotions on his face she felt them.

Rey narrowed her eyes at how he seemed to ignore her emotions, something she knew he could feel just as she felt his own. "And let my friends die." She snapped at him while her jaw tensed. Looking at him she noticed how much he really didn't understand how much her friend's lives affected her and her decisions. Thinking back to the last time they talked about understanding instead of throwing something at him for his stupidity she opted to try and explain. She pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment before continuing. When she was ready she released her nose and looked into his dark eyes. "I don't want power." She said it so simply like it explained everything

But to Kylo Ren that answered nothing, "That's only because you have no idea what power could do for you." His voice strained under the weight of his desire to have her understand that power and passion was the answer to their dilemmas. He thought about how strong she would become if she came to the Dark Side, he often wondered if she would overpower him.

Rey tore her gaze from his when he spoke and looked at her bare feet for a moment before snapping her gaze back to the intense gaze that was Kylo Ren. Watching him for a moment she could see him trying to piece the puzzle together, and failing. Beyond the dark clothes the menacing stance, and impassive face she saw him floundering - a glimpse of the boy he used to be. Her gaze softened as she regarded him, he knew her feelings that was beyond a doubt. But she could see now that the 'why' behind them was an elusive thing to him. For a moment she pressed her lips together as she tried to find the words before she spoke. "But I know what it would cost me. And that cost is too great."

Her brown eyes held a softness to them as she kept his gaze. That softness was something he hadn't seen since Han. He was afraid of course, but there was a softness in his Father's eyes before... Kylo Ren should have wanted to throw himself into that thought to relive that moment but he couldn't, the pain was too much and too different then the pain he used for his power. He tore his gaze from her softness and looked at the floor while his jaw strained under the strain of his thoughts. "You don't want to become a monster." He said refusing to look at her now not wanting her to see him right now.

He was expecting her to refute him but instead, he heard a scoff before she spoke again. "I already am." He looked up at her, anger on his face ready to strike at any who would dare call her this, a strange protectiveness that hadn't shown itself since the throne room.

"It's true, everyone's afraid of me because of the Force. And your stormtroopers I'm sure are telling terrifying stories about me even as we speak. That's what power does it isolates you." She said with a sigh and looked at the ground not wanting him to see her own vulnerability as he hid his. "I've been alone for too long... it hurts."

Kylo Ren watched her as she spoke and he could see beyond the pride, the strength, and the optimistic ideology and to the broken and terrified girl she had been and in many ways still was. An urge to comfort her pulled at him, nearly demanded a response. For now, much like that night in the hut, he relinquished control of himself and moved towards her carefully. "You want companionship. You need it. Power can be lonely but only until you find your equals." He spoke to her softly, almost like he was trying to comfort her. She craned her head to look into his eyes and she could see it there the unspoken - that he believed she was his equal and that they wouldn't be lonely even if they grew in power because they were equals.

There in his eyes, she could see that he meant it, he didn't see her as small or less than. How tempting it was to fall into his vision for them, together as equals. They could create change, their power would allow for that. The two of them could change the very galaxy and oh how tempting it was.

But that wasn't her, Rey didn't want to bend people to her will or anyone else's. And knowing how wonderful it could be but that she had to reject it again called tears to her eyes. "But I wouldn't be me." She said as her voice cracked slightly as she held his gaze for a moment before dropping her head to stare at his black-clad chest. Quickly she blinked back her tears not wanting to cry again, as she seemed to do whenever they spoke. A brief shiver informed her that the cold she felt inside seemed to translate to her external senses and she began rubbing her arms trying to warm herself.

By now he should be used to her tears, and yet he found himself uncomfortable in their presence. Kylo Ren wanted to do something to take the tears away but he had no idea what to do until she began to shiver. That urge to help, to soothe took over and before he could think about how it wouldn't work or she wouldn't feel it he removed his heavy cape and wrapped it around her smaller form. Rey's eyes widened at the act and marveled that not only could she feel the stiffness of the fabric and the residual warmth of his body heat on it. But that he had done such a thing. She looked up at him and noticed the openness she found there, he wanted to help but had no clue if he should or even how to. Taking it as an act of kindness she pulled the cape closer to her slight frame and gave him a small smile "Thank you." She said softly as they watched each other.

Seeing her draped in his cape was something he hadn't expected to elicit a warmth in his chest, that seemed to spread throughout him. Here he was trying to get his questions answered so he could get her out of his head, and instead, he was distracted. Nervous about this warmth he decided distance was for the best and took a step back watching her warily.

As he moved away Rey looked down to the cape surrounding her, it was a heavy fabric too stiff for her liking but it covered her and gave some warmth. Besides, he had shown her kindness again something no monster would do. "See, there's still Light in you." Her voice soft as she tried not to think about how his retreat pained her.

"No there's not." Kylo Ren narrowed his eyes at her, that optimism or hope in him seemed to do nothing but stir that warmth inside him. And he wasn't ready to look at that if he ever would be.

Her eyes snapped up to meet his own before she spoke. "You just gave me your cape because I was cold. " She kept her gaze on him as she could sense the conflict raging within him now. "If you didn't you wouldn't have saved me from Snoke." Her voice rose to match her conviction. It still startled him to see how steadfast she was in her opinion of him, even if that opinion had already changed once before.

He stayed an arm's length from her, and she could feel he wanted more distance. He didn't want to face this, but she needed him to see the part that she saw beneath all the darkness. So she pressed on "You saved me, even though it meant going against all you had sacrificed so much for." Her voice rang in the empty space and seemed to ring out in his head over and over again.

Kylo Ren sneered as he stared into her brown eyes. "That's what you want to believe." He growled before stalking closer to her, towering over her as he glared. "I would have killed Snoke eventually. You were just the perfect excuse." His voice had long lost the hushed tones, instead, it held the bite of defensiveness. An age-old companion rising to protect him.

The two of them were no stranger to anger and weren't afraid of it. But Rey knew anger as an emotion that happened - not a shield to deaden yourself from everything else. As such she was more adept at using it to achieve her goal, it didn't need to be a wall or a shield or a sword. Sometimes anger could be used as steel in one's backbone, refusing to back down. She hadn't backed down from him yet and she was not about to start now; instead of cowering from his taller form as he would expect she stood abruptly and settled him with fire in her own eyes. "That's what you want to believe Ben Solo." she hissed at him knowing the power of his name and she watched as it produced the desired effect - a tense jaw, a flicker in his eyes. An effective derailment providing the best opening for her next strike "You asked me to join you. If I had you would have no one to blame Snoke's death on." With him taking a step back, she knew the blow had struck true. The two breathed deeply as they watched the other come to terms with their words. Sensing they had retreated - somewhat - she let some of her anger flow back out as easily as it had come. Kylo Ren, on the other hand, was not letting his anger go, as he still tried in vain to hold onto it even as it began evaporating from him. "Face it, Ben, you saved me because you wanted to save me." The fire in her eyes dissipated as she watched him wrestle with that, she knew his feelings. But having him admit them, that was the trick and one she hadn't yet learned.

Kylo Ren kept his gaze steady on her fiery eyes, all the while questions raced throughout his mind. But one seemed to shout above the others - demanding to be answered first. It seemed as of it was shouting so loudly he wondered if Rey could hear it too. This wasn't something easy to ask, certainly not for someone who had been manipulated, neglected, used, and tormented as he had been. With the question screaming in his mind and burning in his throat he stood silent, only his jaw clenching as an external sign of his inner turmoil. He feared to ask, just as he feared the answer. For any answer would produce consequences he didn't want to face. At the same time, he couldn't stay at this crossroads much longer.

This conflict was not something new to either of them, but to Rey, it felt closer than before. She kept her gaze steady on his features; the tensing of his jaw, his eyes narrowing and relaxing, even his lips pressing together- nothing escaped her notice. Yet she began to feel the telltale signs of their Bond fading for now. Rey wanted to say something to try and help him with this conflict, but much like he was, she was rendered speechless. But before she knew it, the chance to say anything had passed. And she was left alone, with the Supreme Leader's cape to keep her warm.


	3. Lessons

AN: The rating change will make itself apparent later on (slow burn) but aside from more romantic reasons for an M rating I'm planning on touching on some darker themes and felt it necessary to offer some level of warning. I wanted to say thank you to those who review and offer some constructive critiques. I will endeavor to put them into effect. Also, side note I had to go see TLJ again when I started seeing people talk about the texts in FF because I completely missed that she grabbed them. Sneaky Sneaky. That being said I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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Rey was not known for her patience, but here she was pouring over the Jedi texts in front of her. If someone were to have asked how long she was attempting to study the strange texts the young woman would have been tempted to reply that she'd been at this forever. In actuality, she had been studying them for the better part of five hours straight, no small feat. But it still did not produce much understanding in her mind. "I guess this is why a teacher is needed." She whispered to herself half sarcastic and half exasperated.

After reading the same passage and still gaining no understanding, she let out a groan before falling back to lay sprawled out on the floor of her cabin. While she lay there Rey could feel her pulse race with an anger that simmered beneath the surface. It was painfully obvious that she was no Jedi, and there was little hope that she would become one if her current situation was any indication. However, there was one thing that she seemed to understand from the texts - Anger was dangerous, a path to the Dark Side. In an effort to follow one of the few lessons she understood Rey closed her eyes trying to connect with the Force and let this anger flow out of her.

It felt easy for her now to slip into the gentle stream that was the constant flow of energy around her. It felt as normal to her as breathing. Finn had seen her in such a state and mistook her to be asleep, but Rey knew she could never fall asleep in this state as it demanded her attention and would not lull her.

Before she could take note that anger had slipped from her body and she was filled with that weightless feeling she had become accustomed to. Slowly the gentle hum of the ship faded from her senses. A clear warning that their Bond was forming, but instead of rousing herself to greet her dark partner she was content to stay in this state of in between.

Kylo Ren watched Rey's sprawled form perplexed at her position. Her mind felt as if it were far away from him, and yet all around him. Thankfully he was alone in his quarters and so he was free to watch her without interruption. His thoughts drifted to the last time they spoke, and as he thought on this he found himself studying her features, committing them to memory. The Supreme Leader had hoped that their talks would have provided answers, and while they had these answers only produced more questions and kept the enigma of Rey on his mind more often than he cared to admit. Not wanting to ponder on this much longer he broke the silence. "Hello, Rey."

His deep baritone seemed to seep into her, rather than simply hearing him. She could see him so clearly in this state, the darkness, of course, swirled around him but so did the light. The two flaring occasionally, so that it reminded her of solar flares. "Hi, Ben," she whispered almost as an afterthought. Being more focused than previous occasions she noticed how his heart skipped a beat when she said his name. She had expected anger, or fear but not nervousness. Her brow creased at this, and the questions it brought to her mind. "You're nervous," she spoke clearly as she opened her eyes to stare at Kylo Ren. Standing above her, arms crossed and a guarded look in his dark brown eyes was the image she found.

He felt his eyes narrow a fraction before he decided to offer a warning "That's dangerous." To anyone else, he would have been able to intimidate her into submission, but not with Rey.

Rey, in turn, narrowed her eyes back at him "So is talking with you." She snapped at him before letting out a frustrated huff. Futilely she tried to attain that same in-between space she had occupied before.

"You're annoyed." He said this as he sank to sit beside her head, without much difficulty he could feel her ripple of annoyance at the interruption. Yet stubbornly she kept her eyes screwed shut. But instead of the tranquil and almost euphoric expression on her face as before, he could easily see frustration spark to life across her features. "And not just at me. You're annoyed at something else." He continued and watched her carefully. After a few moments, he let out a small sigh and nudged her shoulder, startling her enough to snap her eyes open. "The answers aren't in your head." He said stoically before adopting a softer expression. "What's annoying you?"

A soft expression was not something Rey was expecting from Kylo Ren, but then again she seldom knew what to expect with the impulsive man. Detecting only understanding and curiosity from him she decided to take a chance and speak. "The books, they don't make sense." She whispered and tore her eyes from his, ashamed at her lack of understanding. What kind of Jedi could she be if she couldn't even understand the basic tenants?

Kylo Ren watched her war with her pride and her shame. How often had he found himself in that same war throughout his life? He had wished someone to settle the war and felt an urge to do something for her. "They confused me too. Most of us didn't understand them either." He offered in an attempt to let her see she wasn't alone in this war.

Carefully, her eyes drifted to his dark brown eyes. Seeing trepidation in those soft brown eyes he pressed on "Even Luke had difficulty." He spoke softly, as he watched her. Thankfully it seemed that his words took off the edge of the shame she felt, and slowly she moved to sit up and face him once again. "You're expecting too much of yourself. You're learning all of this on your own. I had a teacher and fellow students and I still had difficulty with it."

Hearing him say that Rey noticed that the pressure that seemed to have settled around her when she began her studying lift slightly. A quick smirk flashed across her face, rewarding him for the comfort he had offered. She gave a subtle nod and rolled her shoulders already feeling lighter. She deftly reached out and pulled a familiar piece of black fabric about her shoulders as she settled into a comfortable position to continue speaking with Kylo Ren.

That same warmth came to spread through him as he watched her encase her smaller form in his black cloak. Shock rippled the air between them "You kept it." The words tumbled from his lips unbidden. He had half expected her to incinerate the thing.

Her brown eyes widened slightly before looking at the dark fabric around her shoulders. A soft heat seemed to crawl over her face as she had been caught with the stolen fabric. "I'm not used to the cold." She offered as a meager excuse, attempting to veil her affinity for the fabric - even from herself. Steeling her nerves she looked back to him, "Do you need it back?" She asked while she tried to quell the worry that she would be parted from the cloak.

The young man watched her for a moment unable to understand the feelings of embarrassment and affinity that seemed to flow from her. Slowly he shook his head to her question and was further amazed at the relief she felt. Rey didn't hold back the small smile at this and pulled it closer to her - clearly happy to keep her blanket.

Needing a distraction, and not wanting to dwell on this he decided to change the subject. "What part was confusing you?" He asked taking solace for a moment by looking tot he ground before raising his gaze back to match hers.

A frustrated sigh flew from her mouth before she responded. "The books seem to suggest that having emotions or any attachments isn't part of being a Jedi." She shook her head as a frown marred her features. "I can't wrap my mind around that, how am I supposed to be compassionate and-"

"Be a robot." Kylo Ren interrupted her, finishing her sentence. It was a thought he and many of his fellow students had shared in their teachings. He watched her nod slowly and her shoulders drooped as she admitted this. "Obviously, I didn't get it either." He continued with a subtle edge at admitting his own failure. He straightened his posture before he continued, forcing his voice to remain impassive. "A Jedi isn't ruled by their emotions. You must block them, bury them deep." He recited the lesson as he had heard it from Luke in his childhood.

"But that's insane. Our emotions are what makes us who we are, without that what are we?" She interjected, eyes aflame passionate even as she defended her point.

"According to the Jedi, you're only meant to keep order. To be a servant to the Light." His voice sounded cold even to his own ears, it was disconcerting to hear himself say the very phrases Luke had spoken. "To let your emotions go unchecked is a path to the Dark side."

Rey seemed to breath more raggedly as he said this, fear touching her mind. "Is it really?" She asked in a questioning and yet challenging tone.

"It seems to be, look at me." The dark haired man watched her as he felt that same firey pull from her. She wanted to challenge.

She shook her head "That's not true. It's like you're blocked, you can't seem to connect with the Dark." She said pressing her point "You're conflicted." Her voice seemed to bang around inside his head, the same words Snoke and Luke had said to him countless times.

"Yes, I am." He admitted jaw tensing as he said this.

Her eyes held that wild passion that seemed to always be just under the surface with her. "One moment you're nothing but your emotion and then the next it's like you have no feelings. Don't you see how you go back and forth?" She kept pressing challenging him again. And while he had been challenged before this wasn't an attempt to convince him of anything. It seemed like she was challenging the concept more than she was challenging him. That helped to take away some of the anger that her challenging roused in him.

Deciding to try and help her understand the lesson he decided to press on, pulling a painful memory from their past. He steeled himself ready for the pain that would come. "Think back to the forest. Your anger, what did it tell you then?" His voice held a tightness to it as he spoke. Reminding himself of that time when she rightfully hated him wasn't pleasant.

Apparently, it wasn't pleasant for either of them as Rey curled into herself clutching at the dark fabric on her shoulders. They were different now, and so she pushed herself to reflect on that time trusting that this would help her understand. "It told me to kill you." She whispered not at all happy with that thought now.

Kylo Ren had known the answer before it came, that night he could clearly see her intent in those same soft brown eyes. "Exactly." He said with that same tightness before.

While her previous voice was quiet almost reluctant to say the words it seemed to raise in tone as she rushed to challenge and defend. "But Jedi kill, otherwise why would they ever make a lightsaber?"

Ruefully Kylo Ren shook his head. "Not for personal reasons. Only to restore order and serve the Light. That night it was personal." He said softly as he watched her cover herself almost completely with his cloak. "That was the Dark side."

She could remember the whispers in that moment, how they seemed to lance her thoughts and fester in the wounds they opened. They sat in silence, as she reflected on this. After a few moments, she relaxed her posture a bit before speaking. "I used to think being a Jedi just meant using the Force but now...I know that's not true. There's more to it than just that." She said softly and shook her head, "I never thought being a Jedi would mean being alone again."

That loneliness, that emptiness that seemed to follow the Jedi teachings was something he was acutely aware of. It was how Snoke had gotten his claws in the youth. Of course, the Dark master had to have been targeting the youth throughout his young life - all because of his family. But it was the emptiness that he had felt in his lessons that allowed him in. For a moment he worried for Rey that Snoke would find this out and manipulate her as he did to him. But thankfully his more logical mind reminded him that Snoke was dead. At least she would be spared those whispers from that monster. He wanted to reach out to comfort but he had no clue how to offer such comfort when none had given it to him in his time of need.

Thinking on this emptiness only seemed to pull her shoulders down under an unseen pressure. Not wanting this burden Rey slowly shut her eyes and connected herself to the Force. A peaceful expression took over her features as she slipped back into that in-between place. "What are you doing?" Was the deep baritone voice that pulled her from that place. She opened her eyes calmly as she looked at his curious expression. Her head turned slightly egging him to explain further. "It's almost like you're everywhere but also very far away when you do that."

Rey offered only a shrug, "Master Luke told me to focus on the Force. It's strange but it almost feels like I'm floating, I can feel everything but it's not overwhelming." Trying to explain it was difficult, like trying to teach Finn the basics of mechanics.

The young man stared at the girl in awe, with little instruction she had been able to connect with the Force in a few moments. Something that took him ages to do. "Show me." He had the grace to flinch as it came out like a command. Rey narrowed her eyes at him for that but let out a small sigh before nodding her head to him.

There they sat for the next few fleeting moments. With Rey explaining how she accessed that in-between place that she visited, and Kylo Ren giving her all his attention freely. For one of the few times, the two let go of their sides or agendas. Instead, for those moments it was only two souls bonding over something they shared. That was something Rey cherished far more than any book.


	4. Warmth

AN: This is the fourth time I've had to write this chapter because FFN doc manager seems to keep corrupting or losing the save. Anyway, I hope you have a good day and you enjoy the chapter.

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The Resistance base typically exuded noise. But tonight it was cold, distant and quiet. A diplomatic mission called most of the higher ups along with a great number of their pilots and personnel, in an effort to show the Resistance was alive and well. Even if that was the most of their numbers, it would still send a message of stability. At least that's what General Organa had claimed.

Rey had been left behind and that didn't sit well with her. It felt too close to how she felt as a child - abandoned, alone in the sand again. Yes, it made sense for her to stay behind. Afterall the last time a Force user has been on Bespin, it hadn't gone well for the planet. She would distract from the talks. Logically she knew this, but as she walked the quiet halls that logic did nothing to keep those fears at bay. It was late and she couldn't sleep, and so she wandered.

With the whispers of her fears edging at her mind she had tried to find her in-between place, to no avail. But in her walk, she felt the world fade and shift, those telltale signs of the Bond forming -but no sign of her dark companion. She found herself rounding a corner only to find him standing impassively in the middle of the hallway. Something in his stance gave her pause, watching him for a moment she noticed the fear rolling off him causing her own heart to quicken in response. It was so small, but she could still feel his thought urging her to remain silent, to wait. While Kylo Ren had perfected the art of hiding his emotions behind a steel wall Rey was more free with her emotions. As such her own fear, frustration and worry all but shouted at him calling him to respond. But for now, he stood stoically with cold calculating eyes staring at something she could not see.

Waiting made mere moments drag on and on, but finally, the silence broke. "Agreed. Move forward with our plans. I expect consistent reports." If his words didn't convey his meaning then surely his voice and demeanor hammered it home, whoever he was speaking to was dismissed. More waiting until his demeanor changed, and his wall inched down.

"What just happened?" Rey asked quietly, wondering what caused the fear that he held. Thankfully her voice was steady even if she didn't feel so steady.

The young man's heart was racing along with his thoughts as he considered how badly the past few moments could have gone. His eyes snapped to the girl in front of him, no longer cold but burning with a quiet rage. "You just stumbled into something you should not have," he growled out at her, not intending to be as rough as he was being.

Irritation bubbled in her as he snapped at her. Feeling a deep shame over the worry she had felt only moments before. Her own face tensed "You know I don't have control over this. Just like you." She hissed at him.

The two stood watching the other, tense and irritated. But Rey was done waiting and she acted first by straightening her own posture and purposefully walking right past him.

He watched as her smaller frame passed him and just kept going. He took a few steps towards her still angry and not ready to stop the tirade in his mind. "Where are you going?" He sneered at her.

Once she was a short distance from him she turned her head to glare at him for a long moment before walking away. Saying nothing. Using their growing distance and her sheer will she shut the connection and the Bond went silent. When the world stopped feeling like a haze Rey broke into a run. Only stopping when she found herself outside.

Watching her walk away from him was more painful then he cared to admit. He needed solitude before he could do anything. As soon as he found the solitude he craved he tried to reach out to her, to reconnect. All in vain. He let out a frustrated grunt and looked at his surroundings, he was alone and it was quiet. He considered using what she had taught him only a few days before. He was still unable to access the "in-between" as she called it but it had helped before. Kylo Ren dismissed it quickly as doing so only reminded him of a certain scavenger. No, instead he returned to a tried and true method - training.

Anxious and angry energy danced across her arms and legs, urging Rey to action. Collecting her staff she found herself letting the angry flow from her hits against the defenseless tree she had found. The two of them letting their emotions flow out in their blows, and occasionally imagining the other on the receiving end of their blows. While that helped some - as it had in the past - there was a sadness that seeped into the space their anger had left behind.

Panting Rey ceased her blows, that anxious and angry energy finally gone. And while she thought she would feel better without it she found she felt worse. A pervasive shame and sadness clung to her now. She found herself wanting to see him, to scream at him to feel his strange form of comfort. To distract herself she threw herself into running basic tune-ups on the ships around her, there was something soothing about working with the machines.

His training exercises had helped some and gave Kylo Ren the clearer mind he was searching for. Resting from the exertion he pushed back his hair back from his face as he stared at the ground. His thoughts drifted back to Rey as he reviewed their little spat. Watching her walk away from him produced too many thoughts he didn't want to revisit. But even without those thoughts, he could feel the coldness of hurt seep into his bones. The young man was more focused on this feeling, so much that before he knew it they were connected again.

He felt her presence in front of him and he quickly lifted his head to confirm. There she stood, on a box while stretching her arms up clearly focused on whatever task she was doing. Rising from his seated position he scrutinized her features. She was covered in sweat, just as he was. But she had marks of oil and machine grime across her arms, her face and her hands were covered in it. He knew that she enjoyed machines and working on them but she wasn't happy. Her face was scrunched in a scowl as she pulled out a piece and replaced it but in the act, her eyes flickered over to him before quickly returning to the task before her.

Kylo Ren felt his jaw clench as he realized she wasn't distracted, she knew he was there and she was ignoring him. This was too many steps back from where they came and the young man was not willing to go back to those cold days. He would drag her back to where they were before - kicking and screaming if need be. His arms crossed as he stalked towards her.

"Hello." He tried to begin a conversation cordially but she stayed steadfast in her plan to ignore him. Anger rippled through the Bond from both of them. Anger was something he could deal with, something he excelled in. As he stalked closer he pressed on. "Apparently you've lost your voice. Am I that intimidating?" He baited and was rewarded for it by a deepening of her frown and annoyance peppering the air around her.

As she continued her silence Kylo Ren took to circling her with his hands neatly clasped behind his back, all pride and perfect posture. "A vow of silence perhaps?" His question remained unanswered as he knew it would. But her continued silence told him that he'd have to up his game if he hoped for results. "Is the little scavenger running away?" The assault on her pride, however, gave him the reaction he had been hoping for, a flare of anger.

Without much thought, Kylo Ren tilted his head out of the trajectory of the wrench she had thrown at him - missing it's intended target. He halted in his movements "Ah, there you are I thought you left me." She was panting in her rage, but at least she wasn't ignoring him - and didn't have a blaster.

Carefully he drew closer to her. "Scavenger isn't something to be ashamed of." He said softly to her, trying to offer some sort of pseudo-apology. Still, his attention was focused on the pain in her eyes and the tension her body held. "Rey..." Her name tumbled from his lips almost pleading. But he halted as she stepped back "Don't walk away." The words rushing out of him, as his hand rose to meet his plea.

"Why?" She sneered but still, she stopped in her retreat, as she looked from his hand to his eyes.

Slowly he returned his outstretched hand to his side. Kylo Ren nervously wet his lips as he searched for the words, he worried that the wrong choice would end with watching her walk away again. He didn't want that so he went with a truth he had been trying to hide from even himself. "Because I want to talk to you." Yes, she was an enigma and he should be trying to turn her to the Dark Side - but the simple truth was that he enjoyed their talks. And after so long hiding this from himself it was now open before them.

Rey wasn't sure what to do with such blatant honesty from him, his frankness always seemed to disarm her. But still he had hurt her and it needed to be said. "You know we have no control over this." She snapped reciting her previous defense.

Instead of hard dark eyes and a terse voice this time those words were met with a soft gaze and a deep soft voice "I know." His regret tinged the space between as it offered his wordless apology. "I hurt you," he said softly admitting his fault. "I don't want to do that." There it was the truth of it, he hated to see her in pain and it only doubled when he felt he had caused that pain.

The tension still clung to her shoulders but less so than before as she nodded "I know." She offered and let out a sigh. Being angry at him helped to give her a distraction, and a direction. Otherwise fear felt as though it would paralyze her.

Kylo Ren carefully stepped forward as he tasted the fear in the air "Something else is troubling you." His gaze intent on her, wanting to find the source of her pain. He could lie to himself claiming it would be to teach her to use the pain for power. But honestly, he only wanted to root out the source of her pain and tear it apart. "Tell me." He urged softly.

The grease covered woman looked at her hands and busied herself with trying to clean the grease with a rag. "It's nothing," she muttered dismissively. A black-clad hand reached out and stole the rag from her hands, her frown returned and her gaze flew back to his own eyes ready to show her displeasure.

But Kylo Ren would not be phased by her obvious displeasure as his free hand gently tilted her face to the side and began diligently cleaning the grease he found on her cheek with her rag. "Tell me." He urged again but did not meet her eyes as he focused on his self-appointed task.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched his face, intense as ever. But a softness clung there, one she was becoming accustomed to. "They left." She whispered and it seemed to halt his movements before she continued "My friends, they left." She hated how terrified she sounded, so she rushed in with an equally unsure voice "They'll come back." Trying to quell the panic bubbling in her mind

At her quiet confession, he drew back and released his gentle hold on her chin to look into her eyes. There he could almost feel that fateful day in the desert, he swore he could almost hear her desperate cries and screams across time. "Still, you can't help but think of your parents." He spoke softly as he found the source of her pain.

As her panic grew her eyes widened and her panicked voice pressed on "But what if they don't want me anymore?" The panic grew into a tornado in her mind "My own parents didn't want me, why would anyone?" It felt like she couldn't catch a breath as her thoughts raced never giving her a moment's peace.

Kylo Ren was a powerful man, and yet watching Rey crumble before him he felt so powerless. Words would do nothing, the tornado would only whisk them away and fall on deaf ears. Still, he refused to be powerless and so he dropped her rag and quickly used his long arms to encircle her in a tight embrace binding her to him. Small calloused hands clutched to him as he offered a quiet anchor for her to cling to.

It pained him to see her this way if only she could let go of that horrible truth she could free herself. But he had no idea on how to help her do that and so he stayed holding her close hoping that it would help somehow. As the tornado raged they continued holding onto one another, until finally, it lessened to a strong gust of wind. The wind gratefully took the fear and tension with it, and thankfully a pleasant warmth took up their place instead.

Slowly her breathing returned to normal and they relaxed their hold on each other. Rey pulled back and met his gaze gratitude pulsing at him in soft waves. As they seemed to remember themselves they withdrew their arms and let them hang at their sides.

The young woman nodded "They'll come back." Her voice holding more steel in it than it had only moments before.

"Yes, they will." He agreed in his deep baritone, sure that her precious rebels would never abandon her.

She nodded feeling much more certain before continuing "And I have you." She said this softly, happy to be able, to be honest about this truth she felt between them.

Kylo Ren tried to hold back the warm feeling that Rey seemed to evoke, but alas he failed as the warmth spread through his bones. He offered a single nod to her statement and was rewarded with a small smile. He tore his eyes from her features before looking down to the rag and bent to collect it before returning it to her.

Easily she took the rag and nodded to him. Her dark partner, on the other hand, needed a distraction, thinking too much on that warmth was not something he felt ready for just yet. And so he offered them a distraction. "What were you working on?" He asked curiously as to the mechanics he tinkered with.

Rey perked up at that question and grateful for the distraction flew into talking about engines, and mechanics. The two continued talking about this until they faded from each other's sight. Yet still, a warmth clung to their bones as proof that they weren't alone.


	5. Hit

AN: Greetings, I hope this chapter finds you well.

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When night fell, Rey found herself in an all too familiar position. Curled up on her bunk and wrapped in a large swath of dark fabric far too large for her smaller frame. Her thoughts drawn - as they usually were recent - on the fabric's true owner. Before Ach-To all of this was easier. Hate was easy when she hated him when he was a monster she didn't lie awake wondering.

But how could he be a monster now? She knew no monster would hold her close and try to comfort her. She knew how easily those deep eyes and stoic face could snarl into a rage. _'Too many sides.'_ She mused to herself before letting out a frustrated groan. Yet, that's what people were. Very seldom were people just one side, they might try to show only one but that simply wasn't the whole truth. Just as there was Light in her Rey knew there was also Darkness. _'Just like Ben.'_ She thought to herself as she recalled the pain and rejection that seemed to surround him as she closed the Falcon's bay doors back on Crait - severing their Bond for a time. Unbidden her thoughts turned to their most recent encounter and their embrace. Beneath the blanket, she circled her arms around herself as she remembered the feel of Ben's larger form holding her close. Her eyes drifted closed as she tried to relive that moment. She had felt understood by Ben before, but at that moment even with her panicked mind, she felt safe - at home even.

Rey would have probably stayed there, tossing and turning getting no sleep while she pondered the enigma that was Ben Solo and Kylo Ren as she did many nights, at least more than she cared to admit. But an explosion pulled her from her thoughts. Within moments the black cloak lay on her bunk while a brown-haired woman sprinted from the room and towards the sounds of chaos.

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Long days were something Kylo Ren was used to. Whether it be as a child or as an adult the young man never knew a time when his day ended just because the sun had set. There was too much to do, and that was never as true as it was currently. Snoke had trained him in using the Dark Side but never in the acts of ruling the First Order. Although the Supreme Leader would never admit it, he drew on those small lessons he'd learned while at his mother's side. Of course, he still had much to learn in politics, but he was gaining more ground each day towards his goal to manage the First Order effectively.

In all regards, he should be proud of himself for how he handled the committees that he'd created within the First Order, and how he managed the Senate Ambassador without ripping out the man's larynx. His mind wandered for a moment wondering if Rey would be proud at how well he was handling power without destroying things at every turn. The fleeting thoughts flew from his mind easily enough, as it was with many other fleeting thoughts of Rey. Kylo Ren would not admit it but thoughts of Rey were becoming more consistent as time passed. But even though he was managing things well recently, a nervous energy plagued him - pulled at his mind. Demanding that some danger was around the corner but there was nothing. _'Not here. Not with me. But...'_ His thoughts trailed off as dark brown eyes widened as fear laid its cold hand upon him. Thinking about it now that pull in his mind always meant a connection with the woman who danced in his mind. And if that danger was not with him, then it must be with her.

Making sure he was alone in his office Kylo Ren paced as he tried to reach out with the Force. Demanding that the Force connect them as it had done so many times before. Thankfully he didn't have to try long before the Force connected them, but it felt hazy like a dream almost. It seemed weaker than before, he wondered why that might be but soon enough his focus was on Rey as she came into view. He spotted her soon enough, screaming out her rage taking down a stormtrooper with great prejudice before running off to attack another. Tethered to her as he was Kylo Ren followed her movements. But as he tried to reach out to her to get her attention he found that his hand passed through her, he could not touch her. That aggravated him but when the red glare of a blaster shot made contact with her back he felt fear. Watching her stumble forward before ducking into cover and returning fire. That bolt had shot straight through him, and Kylo Ren came to the realization that he couldn't protect her - that he was powerless. Once again.

Watching Rey take each hit and keep going, while he did nothing but observe was beyond frustrating to him. Thankfully Rey had adrenaline pumping through her, but Kylo Ren didn't and he could feel the sting on her back like a distant memory through the Force. Worse, he could see the wound on her back; the dark red easily staining her clothing. It angered him, that red spot growing and growing. His voice was hoarse with shouts of warning that went unheard by the female warrior. He could do nothing, only watch and it terrified him.

In his fear he longed to use any power to halt this, he was the Supreme Leader. He should be able to stop any conflict; he should have complete control over the First Order. But it was clear that he had no such control. The stormtroopers were ill-prepared, and thus he estimated this was not an ordered attack - no this was an attack of opportunity. Some captain found the Resistance base somehow and decided to attack without notifying high command. 'Scum, just trying to climb the ladder.' He snarled in his mind as he watched. If he couldn't do anything to stop this conflict then he vowed to decimate the squad that started the attack. Revenge was an old friend and one he would willingly lean on at this moment. Keeping his focus on the fight he tried to get any information on the group, but the only information he found was that Rey was beating them back.

Kylo Ren paced as he suffered this torture, he could see Rey was getting tired. She jumped from cover to cover while summoning a blaster from a stormtrooper's hand and dispatching him. Black-clad hands clenched while his entire body hummed with rage demanding to be released onto something. He wondered how long she could survive in this fight, as unwelcome images of her falling in this fight entered his mind. Fear's cold hands seemed to circle him, holding him in its grasp while he kept his eyes trained on that same red spot as it darkened. More wounds joined it one at; her arm, her leg, and her hands bloody from foolishly punching armor. The copper smell stung the air, while dust and grime whirled around her. He could hear her screams of rage, but also her cries of agony as she fought through the pain. What he wanted to hear was her voice, even to feel the pressing of her mind invading his own would be welcome now.

She was losing - He knew it as fear inched across her fact, laying its cold hand on her as well. Again those unwelcome images of a cold and silent Rey came to his mind and again he pushed them aside. Her staff flipping wildly to defend her from some attack he could not see. But he could see the blow as some blunt object made an audible crack as it connected with her skull knocking Rey to the ground.

Disarmed and injured she started to scramble back; her breathing escalated as fear circled her with its cold hands. Kylo Ren felt those cold hands grip his own throat, "GET UP!" He roared even though he knew she could not hear him. But he had to try, she had to win, she had to live! Pitching herself she dodged the attack and then the fear fled from her eyes. He'd seen those eyes before in the forest that determined and passionate gaze had meant his doom before. Thrusting out a hand she seemed to dispatch the attacker as she turned her attention elsewhere.

Kylo Ren could feel the pull on the Force as she used it to her advantage. _'She's doing something big'_ He realized as he watched her. And while she held no fear in this the dark ruler knew just how dangerous this was. How many times had he almost killed himself bending the Force to his will or begging it to do as he asked, too many to count. But she wasn't doing this as a training she was using this as an act of desperation, of survival. "Stop being an idiot! Run!" He yelled at her eyes wide as he watched her.

Something must have happened as Rey finally released the Force and a small smile took on her features. "We win." She whispered, and he thought she was saying this to herself but then her eyes focused on his.

Finally being seen caused Kylo Ren to freeze as he watched her while she stood there savoring her victory. "Rey..." he began but trailed off, making sure she could actually see and hear him. When her focus stayed on his eyes he pressed on "You need a medic now!." His voice harsh and loud in their space.

The young woman nodded and looked back to someone raising a hand. "They're coming" her voice soft as she panted from the exertion and turned her gaze back to his own dark gaze. "I beat them back." Again her voice soft, and clearly straining under the pain she was feeling but still, she smiled. Clearly proud of her accomplishment.

The young man could only nod, as he clenched his jaw closed. It all seemed to be over, she was getting medics and yet...fear didn't relinquish its grip on him. A red bolt shot through the air and found it's target - Rey's torso. Already unsteady on her feet she was knocked back to the ground sprawled on the floor. Her eyes wide as she fired back before taking in a few shaky breaths. Kylo Ren watched mouth agape as he tried, and failed to check her wound "No..No...You can't...No." He spoke in a clipped and broken voice. Her eyes closed and then she was gone.

Staring at the black steel floor Kylo Ren kneeled there shaking while his mind raced. All he could hear were the whispers, 'You couldn't save her.' 'Weak Ben...too Weak.' the whispers laced his mind and pushed a wordless roar from his throat. Finally, he unleashed his fury, destroying anything he could find.

 _'She can't be dead! She's not dead!'_ His thoughts demanded but he had no way to find out if this was true or not. He knew it would be easier if she had died, maybe then the Light would stop pulling at his soul. But...he didn't want her to be dead. He stood there panting from his fear and the exertion of his rage with nothing to show for it.

He knew the Dark would give him no answers, not now. But he needed to know, he needed to make sure that his thoughts were right. With determination, he folded himself into the meditation pose his Uncle had taught him long ago. He recalled those old teachings and pushing his fear aside, pushing away his rage he forced himself to connect with the Force and it's Light. It felt unstable, familiar and deadly all at the same time. But at least here he might find answers. Fear and anger tore at him demanding his attention, as his mind brought back the image of her eyes closing with blood on her temple and across her brow. Again he pushed them back, trying and failing to detach himself. Each time he felt his fear and anger pull at him he lost his connection to the Light. _'I just need to know!'_ He screamed at himself as he pushed himself more than he ever had when under Luke's tutelage. There sat the most powerful man in the First Order, the Supreme Leader, trying and failing to get a simple answer which held so much weight.


	6. Dream

AN: Hope this chapter finds you well.

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While her staff flew wildly, deflecting blow after blow Rey knew she couldn't keep this up forever. And inevitably she'd take a hit. She was right. The scavenger had hoped that the hit would be to her torso but the fates were unkind in this. The shock and blinding pain as her enemy's baton connected with her temple. Instinctually, Rey moved with the attack but it still found her prone on the ground staff rolling out of her grip.

The night sky above her blinked with bright lights as a white harbinger of pain stalked towards her. Though her vision blurred and fear's cold hands curled around her throat she scrambled back survival at the forefront of her mind while her breathing raced. Run, she needed to run. But the cold hands of fear held her to the ground and numbed her legs. Distantly she heard a roar of anguish, and she thought for a moment that she could hear the words _'Get up'_ echoing in her mind.

The voice was right, she had to get up. She couldn't just run. She couldn't just survive. She had to win. Rolling on the ground she dodged another attack, and that seemed to release her from the cold hands of fear. Twisting her lithe body she dodged another swing of the baton and jumped back before snarling at her opponent. The young warrior thrust out her hand and called the Force to her will. With a sickening crunch, the stormtrooper's helmet gave way and crumpled. A savage scene as red rivers flowed from the helmet and the body fell to the ground, the life inside was gone. Only then did her hand fall back to her side.

Brown eyes turned towards the sounds of battle. Her staff laid forgotten at her feet as she surveyed the scene before her, the screams calling out in the field fueled her ire. That same voice called distantly for her to run _'Stop being an idiot! Run!'_ But that voice was wrong. She needed to win. There was no running because it wasn't just her anymore. The Resistance mattered, and she'd be damned if she let it fall on her watch.

Swiftly she collected a blaster fired at the crowd before calling out to the Force. She had to use it, even if it thrashed against her will. Or if she had to beg it, she would use it to win. Thankfully the First Order had given her the tools for their own destruction - the rubble. Great boulders flew at the white soldiers crushing them in their suits. Like rats, they sensed the change in the tide and made a move to flee into their ship. Orders of retreat sounded out. Lulling them into a false sense of security she let them clamber into the ship before letting out a roar of rage. With her will and command, the transport ship cracked and crumpled into itself. Snuffing out the life inside, before being torn apart.

Her breathing was heavy, the pain made itself known. Not only in her body but her mind and her very soul. It was too much, but it was needed. She had to win. The Force flew through her, as it once had without her commanding it to her will. Seeing the fighters take off to make quick work of the single ship in the atmosphere that had given birth to the white harbingers of pain brought a small smile came to her features as she let herself savor her victory. "We win." She whispered, and without a thought, she easily found the dark eyes of Kylo Rens. Seeing him she surmised that it was his voice calling to her before.

She was tired, in pain but still, she stood watching the dark knight before her. "Rey..." his voice felt far away, sounded too quiet to her ears. But most sounds were sounding too quiet to her now. His insistent and commanding voice broke through her haze "You need a medic. Now!" She nodded and slowly turned her head and raised a hand. In the distance she could see a group of people rushing towards her with a gurney, ready to take her away from the battle. But that was fine, she had won.

Rey's arm dropped to her side and looked back to her dark partner. "They're coming." she didn't like how soft her voice was, or how hard to was to breathe at that moment. Easily she caught his gaze and oddly that seemed to help keep the pain at bay. "I beat them back." Again she smiled, proud of herself and her victory. But he didn't seem to join in that pride. No, he was still tense, and afraid even. A slight frown had begun to take on her features as she wondered about his fear.

However, she didn't have long to wonder about his fear as the bright red of a blaster shot made itself known. Finding purchase in her chest she found herself on the ground gasping from the pain. No, she had won, she can't die if she won. With a snarl, she leveled her eyes at the First Order officer and fired off her own shot, glad that it had found its target as the man went down.

Rey tried to get her enough air but the burning pain made it difficult. The dark visage of Kylo flooded her view of the night sky. Fear seemed to have taken hold of him once more and worry played across his regal face. Gasping for air she watched him try and fail to reach out to her. She could see his full lips move quickly, clearly speaking to her, but all she could hear was the pumping of her own heart. Demanding to stay alive even as it steadily grew the red blotches on her small frame.

Oddly she found herself wishing she could comfort the man, but her body refused to listen. _'Ben'_ Darkness encroached her vision, making it harder and harder to focus on Kylo. Foolishly she tried to fight her eyes to keep them focused on his dark worried eyes. But finally she succumbed to her pain and it dragged her beneath the heavy blanket of unconsciousness.

* * *

Within the First Order, Kylo Ren had a reputation for being hot-tempered, violent and impulsive. But in the past week, one could easily describe the Supreme Leader as cold, calculating and even detached. Something had changed, but none could tell what caused this change in their leader. As ever the Supreme Leader was still a mystery even to his own knights and advisors.

Talks with the Senate were advancing, slowly but surely. And that should have pleased him, but currently, he could only feel that cold detachment. Kylo was reading another update from his ambassadors but his mind was not on the words in front of him. Instead, his mind returned to the moment he had received his answer in the past week. How he had flung himself to the Light to find that answer. Rey was alive. While the Force had yet to connect them, Kylo had his answer and he was thankful for that. His dark eyes drifted closed as a familiar consciousness brushed against his own. Since the attack he made sure to constantly reach out to her mind, wanting to know the moment she was awake. A happy consequence was Rey's mind often reached out and touched his own while she slumbered. Her mind brought forth a warmth to him, and it seemed to stoke the spark she had made inside him. As that same warmth seemed to seep into his very bones.

Dark eyes opened as he noticed a presence that produced only irritation - General Hux. With a sigh, Kylo moved from his seated position and stood statuesque in the center of the room. He stood with his hands clasped behind his back, hidden from view beneath his long cape. Finding that cold detachment that had served him well in the past few days he centered himself as the General came into the room.

With a sneer and a grumble, the proud man gave a brief bow before righting himself. Kylo Ren watched the General, he would not have to use the Force to know the ginger was angry. And it didn't take an idiot to guess what he was angry about, but Kylo was ready for this discussion. With a cold and measured voice, he acknowledged the man "General."

"Care to explain as to why out recruitment of troops has been halted." General Hux sneered at the taller man and waited for the excuse that would come. But the silence stretched on. And it only served to agitate the General further.

Kylo let the silence hang before he finally spoke in a quiet tone as if speaking to a child. "I told you before. Taking children and waiting decades for them to complete maturing and training is not effective." He paused and gave a small shrug before continuing "Besides apparently, it doesn't breed the loyalty that we hoped for." His thoughts turned to FN-2187 or Finn as she called him.

Tales of the traitor's actions were whispered throughout the ranks within the First Order. That particular spark was dangerous and easy to catch fire, one he wasn't sure how to snuff out as of yet. But reminding the general of the traitor was a sure way to silence him and a path to explain the logic in the situation.

With a measured voice, The Supreme Leader continued. "We sustained severe loses. We need a more effective way to recruit and train troops."

A scoff was the response from the general and his eyes narrowed with contempt before he spoke in a mocking tone. "And I suspect you have a great plan."

If Hux had spoken in such a mocking tone in the past, Kylo would have taken the bait and reacted violently. But now he didn't let it touch him, it didn't matter. Instead, he gave a simple nod "Yes." He did take pleasure in the general's eyes widening not expecting this reaction. He pressed on explaining further "We are already training multiple groups of new troops. If all goes well we will have adequate replacements within two standard months."

Hux glared at Kylo with contempt "They are too young and inexperienced. They'll be useless." He sneered and tried not to react as Kylo Ren stalked towards him slowly.

"These recruits are fully mature and voluntary soldiers who are being trained properly." His voice remained monotone but a threat bubbled beneath the surface. "We will never recruit children again." Again the Supreme Leader used silence to drive the point home, as his voice took on an edge that hinted at the rage humming beneath the surface. "The First Order is not slaver scum, we will not stoop to their tactics. And should any attempt to do so, I will have them executed. Is that clear General?" His voice growled out his words as he towered over the general. He was expecting the general to snap back at him, and Kylo was ready to respond with violence if the idiot spoke out of turn again. But nothing came, "Dismissed General." His voice returned to it's detached and cool tone.

Hux only stepped back and gave a bow along with a resistant "Supreme Leader" as he left the room.

Once he had gone the dark haired man released his hands it was only there once could see them shaking with rage. He wanted to punch the arrogant idiot's face in. But it wasn't a smart move to start beating your subordinates. Taking a few moments he searched and easily found the warmth of Rey's mind and it soothed the storm inside him, much more than he cared to admit.

* * *

Rey was used to a clear blue sky appearing in her dreams. But this one felt different somehow. It felt easier to breathe than it did when she dreamt of Jaku. Turning her gaze from the sky she noted the tall blades of green grass surrounding her. It was a color that was growing on her more and more each time she saw it. She would have been content to watch the green blades surrounding her shift in the gentle breeze but a presence made itself known to the young woman. "This isn't my dream is it?" She whispered to the presence before meeting the dark eyes she now knew so well.

Kylo lets a small smile touch his features as he walked up to the maiden lounging in the field. "You're correct. It's mine." He answered while he watched her. He wondered briefly if she was a part of the dream, it wouldn't be the first time she had featured in his dreams.

Soft brown eyes returned to the green grass with a soft smile. "If this were my dream I'd never want to wake up."

The young man stayed standing as he looked at the calm scenery "I haven't had this dream in a very long time."

"When was the last time?" Rey asked with a soft and curious voice as she watched the grass sway in the wind.

As her gaze was focused on the grace she missed the tensing of his jaw, as he mulled the answer and what it meant. But this was his dream and there was a good chance she was only a figment of his imagination. So why hide? "When I was a padawan. At the temple."

While his voice was soft in his answer it didn't hinder Rey in hearing him. With a sigh, she turned her eyes back to his visage. "Odd." She admitted and looked around her. For a moment she tried to rise, and yet her body would not respond. She should have felt the comfort of lying on soft earth. Instead, all she felt was the unyielding bite of a metal base, one that had been with her far too often for her liking. She shook her head gently and spoke up. "Tell me about the last time you had this dream. What happened?"

A twitch of a smirk touched his features as she phrased her command as a request. His thoughts drifted back to those calmer days, and nights. Before the dreams of a river of fire. "It was always like this, a field sometimes rainy or sunny like now." He heard her scoff a bit at his half answer before he decided to press on looking over at the horizon. "Sometimes I'd see a man and a woman walking in the distance." Remembering them he looked for the man in dark robes and the woman in light colorful dresses. But alas tonight they did not visit.

"Did you ever talk to them?" Rey asked curious about the dreams of his younger self.

Gently he shook his head as the wind played with his dark locks. "No." He considered her inquiry, wondering why he had never thought to reach out to them. He shrugged after a moment "They were always so far off. And it wouldn't stay like this." He clenched his fists as he recalled how the world would disappear as the dark voice would slip into his mind.

Rey was watching as he tensed and once more she tried to rise. Why? Only because she wished to pull him from his darker thoughts. "But it's like it once was. Why not enjoy it?" She offered to try to pull him to the current rather than the past. But once more she failed in rising. With a huff, she frowned at her predicament. "Oh, this is ridiculous!" She snapped with a growl and looked back to the sky.

Kylo was growing accustomed to her softer tones and was thinking of her recent question when he was shocked from his thoughts by her growl of frustration. "You can't move?" He asked incredulously, she was part of his dream why couldn't she move?

She shook her head and sighed "It feels like I'm strapped to a metal slab." She complained and sighed as she heard him move to stand closer to her.

With curious eyes, Kylo moved closer to her prone frame and quietly moved to sit beside her. Thinking of the past week, and how open he'd kept any connection between them it wouldn't be impossible for her consciousness to slip into his dreams. "You're probably being treated by your medics." He mused as he studied her features. "I was so worried." the words tumbled from him without much thought. She was real, she was here, and she wasn't dead.

At his admission, her eyes snapped back to his own, and she could see the fear and worry there. Her features softened from their original annoyance and she gave him a soft smile. "Ben..." She began but trailed off as she realized she had no idea what to say to that. It touched her, she knew he was worried when she was hurt, but to have him say it - that touched her deeply. Being worried about was something she was still getting used to. With a small shake of her head, her smile turned to a smirk "You can't get rid of me that easily. I won." She said so triumphantly, still quite proud of herself for winning.

Seeing her boast did wonders for his mind, as he was able to put away his worry for now. "I saw. Congratulations." he deadpanned and rolled his eyes as her eyes sparkled with pride. "Don't let it go to your head."

Rey watched as he dipped from view and lay beside her, oddly it felt comforting to have him so close. She was content to let them lay still and listen to the wind. And so they remained silent for quite some time. Until the telltale thrumming of the Force made itself known to them both. She was trying to ignore it to focus on the comfortable silence between them.

However, Kylo Ren broke that silence. "Rey can you do something for me," he whispered as they both watched the cloudless sky.

"What?" she asked matching his quiet tone and wondering about his request.

Hearing her soft voice he let a small smile break out on his features. "Wake up," he asked and closed his own eyes as he felt her presence slowly dissipate until he was alone in his dream once again.


	7. Waking Up

AN: Hope this chapter finds you well.

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The pain was the first thing she noticed. Thankfully it wasn't as bad as it had been but still, it was clear that her body was damaged and beaten. Bleary eyes slowly opened to take in the surroundings. Distantly one could hear shouts and running feet, but the young woman paid no mind to them. She let out a groan as the voices grew louder, clanging in her skull. She let out a groan and winced, closing her eyes. "Rey! Thank the stars!"

Opening her eyes again she found herself encased in a white case. She tried to move her arm to remove the breathing apparatus and yet she couldn't move. Her heart rate skyrocketed at that, being unable to move along with being swallowed alive by some sticky substance only helped to increase her panic. Her hoarse voice let loose a primal cry, she was ready to tear apart this coffin. It took two dark hands slamming on the small window to her coffin to shake her from her fear.

Finally, she focused "Hey its okay you're okay!" It took her a moment as she fought through the panicked haze in her mind, but she recognized that voice. It was that same voice that had called out to her so many times before. _'Finn'_ She thought to herself and almost smiled as his expressive face finally came into focus.

The last she had seen him he was off with Leia on their important diplomatic mission, and while she would never tell him it had pained her to watch him go. So much had happened and they'd been apart, she worried if they would be able to get back to those days before the snowy forest and his injury. "Welcome back." She spoke in a soft voice along with a small smile.

A chuckle came from the ex-storm trooper with a shake of his head. "That's my line." He eyes seemed glued to her own eyes as if reassuring himself she was there, but only when another voice beckoned him did he look away. He gave a brief nod before turning back to his friend. "The Doc's going to get you out of the Bacta pod. You need to lie still while he does some quick tests. Okay?"

Rey rolled her eyes at his worried tone. But admittedly it felt nice to be worried about, something she wouldn't tell him of course. When the lid of her coffin lifted she could finally see the doctor come into view. "I won't eat him if that's what you're worried about Finn." Her eyes shifted to her friend who scoffed and crossed his arms as he watched over her. Carefully the medic removed the breathing apparatus from her face, which Rey was rather glad to have gone. She was easily moved from the pod to an examination table.

Her brown eyes moved to the medic and waited patiently as he began checking on her. It was a strange thing to watch someone check on her, something she wasn't used to yet. But when he pressed a little too harshly on her chest she let out a growl and snarled at him.

In an instant, the medic was flown back from Rey and only halted when he crashed into the wall. Gasping she tried to reign her senses, her head pounded. Everything hurt, everything. For several moments she could only hear her heart and the medics. Taking in several calming breaths she focused instead on calmer spaces. Memories of a deep soft voice and blades of grass swaying in the breeze pulled her mind into calmer waters. And she finally released the medic, as he slumped to the floor.

Pulling back she noticed Finn holding on to her hand urging her to calm down. She let her hand squeeze Finn's and she gave a subtle nod. Her eyes went to the medic worried that she had hurt the man. Her brow knitted as she reflected on how harshly she had reacted. Carefully she turned her head to look at Finn's face. "Water?" She asked with a quiet voice, clearly ashamed of her actions. The young man gave a nod and quickly moved from her side to bring a small cup of water.

Gently he raised her to a seated position - after the medic tacitly agreed - and helped her take a few sips of water. "Slow got to go slow," Finn ordered and eventually let Rey lay back down. Pulling up a chair he took a seat beside her and took her hand back into his own.

Rey wet her lips before giving a slight smirk. "Why do you keep holding my hand?" Her eyes shifted over to him and saw a smile light up his face.

"Funny. But right now, the medic needs to do an examination. And without being thrown into a wall." He spoke to her in a tone that demanded to be obeyed and waited only until she nodded to signal the medic to begin the exam. "He's just making sure you're healing properly."

Rey decided to close her eyes to the exam. Instead, she focused on Finn as he prattled on and on, explaining what the medic was doing, but soon the words droned on and instead she was remembering the peaceful dream she'd shared with Ben. She should be concerned at how the Bond was changing, growing even, but instead, she was content with remembering how pleasant and calming his dream had been. _'For a man filled with conflict his dreams are more peaceful than mine.'_ She thought to herself, as she pondered the irony in that.

"You should be good to go. Take it easy for the next few days." The doctor's unfamiliar voice pulled her from her thoughts and slowly she nodded and carefully pulled herself into a seated position, with Finn's help.

Moving her limbs carefully she noticed the pain was like a distant memory in her bones. "I guess I wasn't that bad." She whispered to herself as she checked where she knew a blaster shot had found its mark on the high left side of her abdomen.

"You were on death's door numbskull." Finn admonished in a sharp voice that had Rey jumping slightly at the sudden sharpness in his tone. Looking up she noticed that his face was clouded with worry but covered with an angry scowl.

Turning to the doctor she looked at him with a question, she wasn't sure if she wanted the answer to. With a sigh, the medic picked up a datapad and read through her injuries. Numbly Rey sat and listened as he listed the organs that had been damaged, the dangerous swelling of her brain, and the amount of blood she had lost, and the internal bleeding. Apparently, her lung had been punctured with that last blaster shot. But that was not all, the seizures she had before they could get her to the Bacta treatment. Her soft brown eyes looked over to Finn as he seemed to wince as the medic recounted just how injured she had been. "You are lucky to be alive, young Rey." The doctor finished pulling her gaze back to his clinical gaze. And yet he gave a brief smirk "But this is war and you won that fight. We owe that victory to you." The medic nodded towards Finn before moving to leave the room, he paused at the door and looked over to Rey. "I imagine you and your friend here will both be in need of my services before this war is over. Take care not to attack me again." And then he was gone

Rey looked down at her hands wringing them gently as she fretted over Finn's reaction, silent and glowering were not things she would associate with the ex-storm trooper. Finding her courage she pulled her gaze to meet his own. The two watched each other before Finn gave in first and the angry scowl fell.

His arms fell to his side as he let loose a puff of air. Crossing the small room he pulled out a change of clothes and placed them on the bed with Rey. "Here, you'll want to use the refresher. I know I did after I woke up in that pod."

Before he could withdraw from her bedside her hand snapped out and gripped onto his wrist halting his movements. "I'm sorry," she whispered and let out a small sigh before she dropped her eyes to stare at the simple clothes. "I wasn't there for you when you woke up." She wanted to continue to tell him how his worry made her happy and yet sad at the same time. But she couldn't find the words and it frustrated her to no end.

Finn watched her bowed head slightly shocked at how she had gripped him. But that was Rey when she finally decided to do something she threw herself into it, and it was something he admired her for. But he remembered the blood that was spattered on her temple. Not wanting to remember that fear or anger he pulled her close into a hug. "There's nothing to forgive. I'm just glad you're okay." He whispered to her and was happy when she reciprocated his hug. Gently, mindful of her sore body, he slightly tightened his hold. "You can make it up to me by not getting hurt like that again." As he said the words he knew that wasn't a promise she could keep, but the lighter tone had its intended effect as she gave him a breathy laugh.

"Back at you." She said as they released one another, with a smile on her face.

Finn straightened and fiddled with his jacket before nodding "Okay so you get freshened up and we'll get some food with Rose. I'll be right outside when you're ready." He spoke with his more standard jovial tone and left her in the cold medical room.

Looking around the room she found the refresher and carefully made her way to it, intent on her goal to rid herself of the sticky substance that stubbornly clung to her skin and hair. Taking her time she was careful with her body, letting out small groans as she moved. She was alive, but that didn't stop the soreness the pain that came along with healing.

Stepping into the refresher she sighed as the water rushed over her. For a moment she had the irrational thought to collect the water instead of washing. But a shake of her head easily dismissed the thought. There were times like this that she had to remind herself that she wasn't on Jakku, that she wasn't starving or dehydrated on some awful desert planet anymore. Raising her face to the spray she gave a smile, she was the scavenger the slave that got away. Washing the Bacta slime from her body her thoughts turned to those she knew were still on that planet...those who were children just like she was. Heaving a sigh she shut off the water and watched it disappear.

With a shake of her head, Rey forced herself to move to dry and change into the scratchy oversized clothes Finn had provided. She had slipped on the oversized shirt and was simply standing staring off into space as she thought about little Rey from Jakku.

This was how Kylo came to see Rey, hair still wet around her shoulders in a too large tunic that reached her mid-thigh. It was shocking to see her in such a state but her forlorn expression halted all other thoughts. Making sure he was alone he spoke "Rey" he whispered into the air, worry tainting his voice.

Slowly she turned to face him "Ben" so many thoughts swirled in her mind. How different her life was to how it had been, so much was strange. "I should be dead." She whispered and her brow furrowed at the thought. It was true, and she wondered if she had not been the resistance's little Jedi would she had been saved?

Kylo only gave a brief nod, tension forcing his posture ramrod straight. It pained him to consider that it had been even possible. Her frown worried him and he could feel the dangerous thoughts swirling in her mind. "But you're not." He interrupted and only continued when he knew she was focused on him. "For whatever reason, you're not, and that's the truth." His voice held steel as he grasped onto that truth with everything he could because to entertain the thought of the opposite would be dangerous.

The young woman gave a slow nod before looking down at the clothes before her and then back to her dark partner. After a moment she gave a small smile "I guess we're even." Carefully she made sure she was appropriately covered and a small blush tainted her cheeks.

Seeing her smile relaxed him. His dark eyes raked over her disheveled form, he noticed now how drops of water ran down her lithe legs. Slowly his eyes traced along her form to her damp hair and blushing cheeks. He remained silent as he watched her; he could feel his heart begin to race and the telltale signs of desire beginning to bloom inside him.

Rey watched his dark eyes roam over her body and she could feel her own heart race, along with a heat that seemed to find a home on her cheeks and ears. She watched him just as he watched her. She wasn't sure but it almost seemed like he wanted to come closer, and she found herself wishing he would. To hold her as he'd done before, but this time it wouldn't be for comfort. For what? She wasn't certain but she wanted it.

And then he was gone, just as suddenly as he had come he was gone. Rey released a breath she hadn't known she was holding as she tried to regain control of her racing heart. After a few moments, her stomach made its presence known, a rumble and the familiar hunger pain demanded attention. Shaking her head she quickly dressed determined to find some food.


	8. What's in a name?

Only once Rey freed herself from the sticky substance did she leave to join her friend in a hunt for food. Thankfully Finn had kept his promise and awaited her just outside the door, along with a bright smile on his face. At one time she had felt odd when he would clasp her hand and take off running, leading her to whatever destination.

But now it was a comfort to have his large hand surrounding her smaller one while he led her through the winding halls to the mess hall. She gladly listened to him ramble about the mission he had been a part of.

It was only when they had joined Rose and the young mechanic had given a sharp jab to his ribs did Finn cease his prattle.

Rose gave a quick smile to Rey as she tucked into the food. "How are you feeling?" She asked watching the force user stuff her face in a rather undignified manner.

Rey for her part decided to answer with a mouth full of food. "Better than I thought." She held up her hand signaling Rose to wait as she finished her mouthful. "That Bacta treatment is amazing." She marveled before taking a gulp of water.

Rose for her part nodded along with Finn the two friends were now clear testaments to how effective the treatment was. "I'm glad. Finn was really worried about you." She spoke between bites not caring for decorum but clearly less famished than Rey. "As soon as he found out he stayed by your side the whole time"

The young woman's brow furrowed at that and looked over questioningly to Finn, the clear question on her face. Why. Growing up alone one had to constantly look for the hidden meaning; doing so had saved her life many times before - A hard habit to break for someone like her.

Finn gave a shrug "I didn't want you to wake up alone." And as if that answered it entirely he shrugged. "Everyone was worried about you." The young man continued eating and watched his companions with a satisfied expression.

His more empathetic tone caught Rey off guard. She was nothing, which had been the ugly truth. And yet in such a short amount of time she had become something to so many. More than she had ever dreamed of. Rey studied her dish; with small pockets of food left, only such a short time ago she ate alone, meager powdery meals. Or went hungry most nights, to her, this meal would have been a feast, and she was thankful. But it was still overwhelming at times to see how her life had changed so much.

Rose broke her concentration as she leaned closer across the table "Hey Rey. Do you think Kylo Ren ordered the attack?" She rushed out in hushed tones "Everyone is saying it was an assassination attempt on you."

Looking at Rose and Finn's faces Rey balked slightly not at all happy with the idea that Ben could have ordered the attack. It could make sense, but her mind quickly shut that down as a possibility. "It wasn't him." She said, "He didn't even know about it."

The young woman spoke with such certainty it seemed odd to the mechanic and the ex-storm trooper. Their wide eyes were the initial response before Rose broke the silence - keeping to their hushed tones - "How do you know that?" Her brown furrowing with speculation, for one to speak so resolutely she must have some information they didn't. At least that was Rose's reasoning.

She had spoken without thought, and Rey realized she was in a precarious position. She didn't want to lie to her friends, to that that mattered to her, but yet she couldn't tell them about the Bond. It was personal, it was theirs alone. Simply it felt wrong to tell anyone. Going with her instincts she lied. "The Force" With a nonchalant shrug she hoped they would buy the fabrication.

Finn readily accepted the vague explanation and offered a shrug as well. "It wouldn't make sense if he had ordered it. He would have been a part of the attack that guy really loves to cause destruction and mayhem." His dark eyes shifted to meet Rose's "He wouldn't have missed a chance to kill Rey himself." His thoughts returned to Starkiller base. A subtle roll of his shoulder was the only outward expression of his discomfort; he could still remember the searing pain slicing his back. The scar ached from time to time, and the ghost of the assault still touched his mind.

Rose sighed and gave a slight pout "I had credits on it being him." Looking at the two friends she wondered how much they had shared. Finn's worry and concern for his friend harkened back to when they were working together. Yes, there were more important things to worry about. Yes, it really wasn't her business. And yes, she shouldn't care. But Rose did. She wondered if there was a place in his thoughts or his heart for her. Or if Rey had taken it all. She hated the tinge of jealousy that plagued her at infrequent moments. But especially now as she watched them laugh quietly together, how their eyes lit up like there was no space between them.

Finn chuckled "No seriously Poe had them all eating out of his hand!" He asserted as he watched Rey chuckle at the antics.

Casually a pilot came to Finn's side and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry to interrupt ladies but they need your man up at the meeting." The pilot shrugged "Sorry Tico."

The pilot gave a wink to Rose as the pair began walking away. Rose rolled her eyes, but a tell-tale blush showed that thinking of Finn as hers was an alluring concept. She huffed but turned to watch the two walk off. With a wistful voice, she interrupted the silence that had held the two women for a moment "He played it off. But he's always worried about you." Her voice dropping to that longing and saddened tone.

Rey couldn't help the small smile as she watched Finn walk away. She knew it was hard for him in the beginning to be a part of the resistance but he'd found his place in it. She was happy that he'd found a place and a purpose. She let out a small chuckle before turning her attention back to Rose. "He worries, that's Finn."

She easily pushed aside her empty plate and leaned on the cold metal table, arms crossed to cradle her chin as she watched Rose's cherub-like features. The scavenger had known loneliness, it had been with her all her life, and she could almost smell it on Rose now. "You know" She began seeking to catch the mechanics attention "he was beside himself when you were hurt."

Her dark eyes snapped to meet Rey's hazel eyes as she recalled how happy she had been to see him when she woke. She felt cared for, even - she shook her head halting those thoughts from growing any further. Feeling awkward she shifted in her seat and cleared her throat before responding "That's just because I saved the Lurdo." For good measure, she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms trying to show ambivalence, and failing.

A soft chuckle was all the response Rey would give. Rose could try and dismiss it all she liked but Rey saw him, how he worried and fretted over her still body. How he carefully marked her breathing and dotingly tried to make sure she was as comfortable.

Rey's eyes drifted to the metal table and her thoughts turned to another, someone else who had shown worry at her condition. Ben. What did that mean? Try as she might she still couldn't resolve the enigma that was her dark partner. Her mind turned to how his stare had seemed so different than before. Ben was an intense person but his eyes raking over her body was something new. And she didn't know what to make of that. For so long she had no one, and now... she had so many she still wasn't sure how to handle it all. What it all meant. Her eyes flickered to Rose and wondered if perhaps she had the answers. "Rose, what is a friend?" She asked without hesitation, for if Rose could help her feel a little less lost it was worth a shot.

The question gave the young mechanic pause. It was a question one would expect from a child and for a moment she wondered if Rey was pulling some sort of prank. But seeing her earnest curious expression she dismissed that idea. Which meant the honest question needed an honest answer. "Well, a friend is someone that you like." She started in a halting manner, letting out a frustrated sigh. How could she explain such a vague concept to someone who had only known survival and war? Thankfully Rose was up for the challenge "It's someone who you trust not just in a fight but to be there for you just as you are there for them. It goes both ways" She spoke in a more assured tone "Not because either of you has to but because you want to. Your heart hurts when they hurt, and you want the best for them." Rose paused wondering if any of this was making sense.

Rey's brow furrowed as she mulled this all over. "I guess it makes some sense. But – "She halted herself and pursed her lips as she wondered how to ask about Ben's behavior from before. Her thoughts went back to those dark warm eyes that had seemed to be glued to her every move.

Listening to Rey's halting speech seemed to show some confusion. The mechanic rushed in, eager to help her understand. "Okay think of Finn." The words tumbled from her mouth before she had a moment to think, was she ready to hear about Rey's feelings for the man? Could she handle that? But the words were out there was no way to shove them back inside. "What do you think of him?" she asked pushing away her worries.

Rey turned to focus her eyes on the metal table. Finn was her constant companion, she hated it when he was in pain just like Rose said. But it didn't feel the same as she did about Ben. Finn was her friend, he trusted her as she trusted him. But still, it felt wrong to tell him about Ben, and even about everything that happened on the island. "Finn, he's someone I trust. I can see your point, he's a friend." She looked up to Rose and tried to show a smile, to hide the conflict of an unasked question. If Finn was a friend, what was Ben? He surely wasn't just her enemy anymore.

For her part, Rose tried not to let her relief show as Rey spoke. "But...Do you want him to yourself?" She pressed, heart racing, she was afraid to find the truth before. But now she had to know.

Soft brown eyes widened slightly and quickly she shook her head "No." she said quickly "I just want to be one of his friends." She nodded feeling happy with that statement. But thinking of Ben she wondered, Did she want him to herself? In her mind's eye, she played out a scenario, with his arms wrapped around another person. And while she knew that more than likely would never happen it still left her feeling uncomfortable and even slightly irritated. "What would it mean if someone did?" She asked with a furrowed brow, not quite liking her thoughts in this.

Thankfully the answer was so quick Rose had no doubt that Rey didn't see Finn in that light. But her next question confused her then. Doing her due diligence as her friend Rose explained. "Well if someone did. That's not just a friend, it typically means they really like that person. Maybe even love." She answered with a shrug.

Love. That was a possibility, in the same way, that anything was possible. And while she tried to shake it from her mind Rey found it sticking around, refusing to let go. Forcing a smile Rey easily changed the topic to more comfortable things like engines and ships. This was something each woman knew well and something they could bond over. But now for Rey, it was a way to hide from the thoughts their conversation had drummed up in her. And to some extent, the same was true for young Rose, as neither woman really wanted to dwell on what each relationship really meant.

Hours later tucked away in her cot under her black cloak Rey lay awake thinking about those dark eyes. At one time they were that of a monster, but now? Things were easier when she knew nothing and saw her world in black and white. But now she knew too much she couldn't call him an enemy any more than she could call him a monster now "Not an enemy" she whispered into the black night as she turned and curled the cloak closer to her. _A friend?_ She thought to herself wondering if that title felt any better than the enemy, it didn't. It felt wrong, she wasn't sure how but it was wrong.

Her body ached, begging her for sleep, for respite from this conundrum. She let loose a huff of annoyance before tossing once more and resolving that Ben Solo was neither friend nor enemy to her, something else. He was Ben and she was Rey and somehow that made the most perfect sense to her. Finally, her tired eyes drifted shut, leading her to dreams of grassy fields and clear skies.


	9. Enemy

AN: I apologise for any typos as this was written on the app. I'll endeavor to fix any I notice. Thank you for reading and have a great day.

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Moving through her forms with the staff the young warrior felt more at calm than she had in recent weeks. Once again she could feel the easy flow of the river in her mind. Recently it felt as if there were blocks, dams, and rocks throughout the river but finally it had calmed. And her forms seemed to help keep it calm.

Rey's recovery had been swift, considering the damage she had suffered but it still agitated the young woman. The constant check-ups and the physical therapy that had been insisted on by the doctor were a small irritant but in truth, the source of her agitation was the barrage of questions from the Resistance. The questions had gotten worse when a video of the incident came to light and was subsequently sent across the galaxy. Of course, it was edited to not show her last near fatal injury. Some were in awe of her and flocked to lifting her even further on the proverbial pedestal, but there were others that feared her.

It was clear that Rey had been brutal in the fight, but she had to be if she wasn't she would have died and the Resistance with her. Knowing this didn't help, she had seen herself crush the skull of the stormtrooper with their own helmet. The stream of blood that ran down the pristine white armor was an image that continued to plague her. A ferocious blow connected with the makeshift training dummy as the image came to her mind once again. The looks of those around her and their fear was something she couldn't escape either. It didn't take a Force-sensitive person to know that there were those in the Resistance that saw her as unhinged - a potential liability. A weapon that needed to be kept in check.

A satisfying _'thwack'_ resounded as she landed yet another hard blow, breaking the wooden supports. She panted while watching the sack of sand fall before her, letting out a curse she bent to collect the broken pieces. Only when she realized the wood was splintered beyond repair did she begin chucking the broken pieces off into the wilderness that surrounded her. She would have to rebuild her training dummy, again. Rey could ask for help from the Resistance but that would mean explaining that she had broken it again, and that would mean more of those damn looks.

Dejected she slumped to sit on the ground by her broken dummy and tried to catch her breath. If she was being honest the looks, the fear, the adoration were strong in her mind but there was also a certain dark knight haunting her thoughts as well. She had almost expected worry from Finn, as he seemed to be worried about everyone, and the Resistance would care for her because she was their precious symbol. But to feel concern from Ben was not something she expected. He had put her life in jeopardy so many times before, so why would it matter that her meager life was once again on the cusp of being snuffed out.

Resting against her bent knee Rey tried to make sense of the enigma that is Ben Solo. He could be the storm in her life, and in the next moment, he could be the shelter. She could make moves to his destruction, and yet at the same moment, she wanted to be his shield against any further pain. Things were easier before the Bond before she knew more about him. "Ignorance is bliss." she scoffed to herself

"Only for fools." A deep voice echoed out into the secluded area

Rey's head shot up and spun behind to her to find Kylo Ren in his standard regalia, standing impossibly tall and impossibly still. It would be easy for someone to mistake him for a statue. "How do you stand like that?" She snapped and pushed some rouge strands of hair back "It's like you're not even alive." She muttered before standing and dusting the dirt from her clothes.

Dark eyes watched her carefully as she moved to stand, thankfully he detected no hindrance in her movements. "Your recovery seems to be going well." He mused as his eyes finally leveled on her own.

Mutely she nodded and childishly decided to mock his stance. Feet shoulder width apart, back straight, hands clasped behind her and face stoic. "Yes," She responded in a voice attempting to mock his own deep timber.

His lips pursed and pulled to the left in annoyance at her attempted mocking. It was a strange feeling to be mocked so openly, and yet not feel the sting to his pride as he would have before. Kylo couldn't remember the last time anyone had mocked him, at least to his face. Being teased didn't feel particularly good but watching tiny Rey stretch to an unnatural posture and speak in a horrible mimic of his own voice was almost comical.

A flash of sunlight came to his mind, as he wondered what her laugh would sound like. Quickly he shifted his thoughts elsewhere sensing how dangerous that one thought could be.

"At ease," the command easily rolled off his tongue without much thought but he did relax his own posture - slightly.

Kylo watched her eyes roll as she adopted her more natural stance. "Your Resistance must have Bacta treatment, even Pods for you to recover so quickly." He mused unsure if this would be beneficial to his cause.

Almost sensing the shift in his focus Rey narrowed her eyes at him "That doesn't matter." She took several steps closer, hands balled into fists. "Right?" She hissed at the taller man, all venom, and ferocity in her defense.

Dark eyes narrowed as she hissed at him, Kylo easily met her unspoken challenge meeting her stride for stride until they were a breath apart. "Why not?" He asked in a deep but level tone, with only a tinge of anger holding onto his words.

With the two of them so close, Rey kept her eyes directly on his own tilting her head to make sure she met him head-on. "Because we aren't enemies." She snapped with a furrowed brow.

With Rey, Kylo had learned to expect the unexpected but her declaration was so out of what he thought possible that he was stunned silent. Falling back a step he regarded her with widened confused eyes. Of course, they were enemies, she ensured that when she chose to reject him. Of course, the Resistance Jedi and the Supreme Leader were enemies.

For her to naively declare otherwise was folly, and that enraged him. He glared at her "What are you talking about Scavenger?" He sneered, gone was the stoic cold Supreme Leader here in his place was the emotional man behind the mask.

That word had it's desired effect when Rey snapped a fist to connect with his stomach, at the unexpected attack he had no defense and fell back a step recoiling from the hit. "See" he countered in a hoarse voice before righting himself and braced himself for any future attacks.

Rey groaned and roughly crossed her arms in aggravation. "I hit you because you were being annoyingly hard-headed." her breaths panting as she tried to calm herself "Kriff!" she growled out and began throwing the broken pieces of her training dummy at him.

Dodging her attacks were easy enough but he hoped that she would eventually run out of fodder. He found himself hoping she didn't have a blaster. "I'm hard-headed?!" He snapped incredulously as he ducked yet another sailing piece of wood.

Watching her frantically searching her surroundings, probably for more ammo, Kylo saw his chance. Rushing forward he latched onto her hands and pinned them behind her with his own. She bucked, tried to kick, head-butted his chest a few times and he was sure that if he hadn't been wearing his leather tunick she would have bitten him.

He could see yelling would do no good, he needed answers not another assault on his person. Carefully he tried to regain the calm that he used before, using her techniques he found it. In his mind, he could see the river that seemed to present whenever he felt that quiet connection with the Force.

When his dark eyes reconnected with her own they were softer, and it was that softness that gave Rey pause. Finally, she stopped resisting, her ragged breath and racing heart the only signs of her previous rage. And yet he didn't let her go. "You're not going to use this against me or mine." She spoke with steel in her voice, keeping her eyes on his "You're not my enemy."

The moments ticked by in silence until she regained her calmer state. In her calmer mind, all she could think of were two faces both of them his. One filled with fear for her and the other in such relief that she was safe. "You were worried and so scared." She whispered to him

Kylo loosened his grip on her lightly as she calmed, her voice almost seemed to break under the weight as she recalled his fear. Nervously he wet his own lips as he remembered his dread that fateful day. How he had searched and searched for a simple sign that she was alive. His only response a slight nod as he kept his eyes on her trying to detect some manipulation.

His assent helped, saying so in a dream was one thing but to confirm it out here in the open was something else. She pressed on, keeping her eyes on his as she was wrapped in his strong arms. "Do you think of me as an enemy?" she asked in a hushed whisper almost fearful of his answer.

Again he responded non verbally with a small shake of his head. While he stayed non-verbal he stuck to the truth. The topic of their discussion and her body being pressed so close to his own was an - unsettling combination. Keeping him silent for the most part, but seeing her eyes all but demand a response he pushed himself to speak. "Not enemies," he whispered almost afraid to say it.

It was Rey's turn to nod quietly. Hearing his soft whisper did strange things to her heart. But her mind pushed past that to drive home her original point. "You won't use me for your side and I won't use you for mine."She spoke in a declarative fashion demanding this to be true.

Kylo mulled over her statement watching her soft brown eyes for a hint of deception or betrayal. After a long moment, he nodded "Agreed" he spoke softly not wanting to destroy the intimate air they had created between them.

With that finalized Rey relaxed and even gave a brief smile. That was before she finally realized the position they were in. Trapped against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around her and glove-clad hands holding onto her own. Despite his thick garb, she swore that she could feel the warmth radiating from him a warmth that seemed to seep into her very bones. Rey shyly avoided her eyes as a warmth found a home in her cheeks and behind her ears.

Kylo took note of her shift, but it was the small blush blooming on her features that reminded him of the position he had placed them in. It had made perfect sense to restrain her as such, but now new problems were coming forward. He didn't want to let go. It felt warm to have her in his arms, a warmth he'd long been denying. That small spark she had made in him only seemed to grow each time they touched. If he continued to hold her he worried that flame would grow beyond his control. Slowly he released her arms and let his own fall limply at his side. But he refused to take a step back to retreat any further from that warmth. Already his arms felt too cold.

Rey felt coldness creep into where his warmth had been only moments before. She found herself wanting that warmth back again, but she would suffer the cold for now. It was a small comfort that he didn't step back and following that she refused to step back either. But she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze. At least not until she was sure that the warmth behind her ears dissipated.

"You were training." He mused as he noted her disheveled appearance again "But you were quick to anger." He continued eyes narrowing as he put the pieces together. "What's upsetting you?" His question seemed to take on a commanding tone, one he wasn't aware of.

A huff was her initial response to his prodding, and her irritation helped to chase away that warmth lurking behind her ears. "Did you know that when you get nervous with me you use that annoying detached commander tone." She muttered before slanting her eyes in his direction.

Those dark eyes remained narrowed "That's not an answer." He growled and crossed his arms as he watched her pace.

It was several moments before she spoke again when she did it was in a quiet and clipped voice. " That stupid holo" In frustration she kicked at the ground.

Kylo only nodded as he watched her pace, working out her frustrations on her own. "I've seen it, You were remarkable." The compliment came easily as to him it was truly remarkable that she had progressed so much in so little time with so little teaching. Luke had not taught her that, there was too much Dark in her actions. No, that was all Rey and it was remarkable. But her scoff seemed to try and disregard all of that. "What do you think of it then?" He asked hoping she would give voice to her thoughts.

Rey paused in her pacing, she hadn't really thought about her actions. "I was just surviving" was her whispered response.

"No." He said softly and stalked closer to her before continuing "If you just wanted to survive you would have run. Like I told you to." He pressed trying not to recall how he had screamed for her to flee. "You wanted to win. And you did, against all odds." He spoke evenly but softly as he recalled how proud she had been to declare her victory in his dream.

She seemed to chew on this and a subtle nod confirmed her agreement. "But why did they have to release the holo she lamented as she turned to face him completely.

Kylo dropped his crossed arms as she turned to him "Simple. It's good propaganda." He shrugged as he spoke the truth they both knew.

"I know that" she scowled at the ground before continuing "It's the talk that's the worst," she muttered and crossed her arms - almost cradling herself wanting some form of comfort. "Everyone thinks I'm this great Jedi that can end this war on my own." She shook her head with a sigh as she kept her head bowed. "Or they are terrified of me."

Standing there alone, curling into herself it only reminded him of a certain young boy and how everyone was terrified of him too. He made sure not to linger on these thoughts for too long, instead he focused on the woman in front of him.

Gently he laid a hand on her shoulder, only when her eyes raised to meet his own did he speak " You're still Rey." he began in a soft voice "That fight didn't change who you are. Not to me." his voice held steel, so there could be no doubt in his words.

Rey watched his dark eyes waiting to find deception, manipulation or cruelty there. Yet all she found was truth. Slowly she released the hold she had on herself and reached to lay a hand on his shoulder mirroring his gentle touch.

The two said nothing, only watching the other. As the sounds around them returned they kept their eyes on one another, for even as the Force separated them they were not alone.

She knew their time was ending but it still startled her when he faded from sight. It was as if someone had suddenly shifted the ground beneath her. As her arm fell to her side she collected herself.

Distantly she heard her name being called. Slowly Rey collected her staff and walked away from her clearing and the shambles of her training dummy.


	10. Return in Flight

AN: Thank you for all those reading. Hope this chapter finds you well.

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When Rey was summoned she had expected one of her friends seeking her company, or someone asking for assistance on some machine. She didn't expect to be called into a heated debate.

"It's foolish and wasteful! She has no experience!" was the booming voice of a COmmander Rey couldn't recall the name of. But Poe's voice quickly jumped into the fray "She lived there! Of course, she's the right call!" was his response. But that seemed to only make more of a commotion. Glancing back at the pilot that had led her there she almost asked if it was a joke but he gestured for her to enter the meeting room.

Taking a steadying breath she opened the door, revealing her to those in the meeting. She stood stock still for a moment before General Organa beckoned her to stand beside her. Trying to focus only on her General Rey gave a tight smile. "You asked for me?" She asked hoping for some hint or explanation to this.

Her General nodded and endeavored to explain "Commander Dameron has put you forward for a mission." Rey stared at her incredulously, she didn't have much of a good track record when it came to missions. Each one a failure, one after another.

Thankfully Rey didn't have to wait long as Poe began to explain, straightening his jacket he moved to stand in front of Rey. "You know about the Holo, right?" She nodded as he pulled her forward to stand at the table with numerous reports and screens – one replaying the aforementioned Holo. "Well, we've been getting a lot of support because of it. You showed them the First Order is beatable and because of it rebellions are popping up everywhere. "

He explained bringing up articles and reports of those in open hostiles against the First Order. "But there's one place that hasn't made a single move towards rebellion." His voice calmed and slowed as he spoke close to her "Jakku" At the mention of her old home planet, or cell depending on how you think of it, Rey's eyes snapped to Poe's. "We need a planet like Jakku and those in the inner rim to help with parts and for bases."

While Rey was thankful for his explanation, her brow was still furrowed in confusion. "Alright. But where do I fit in this?" She asked

At her question, Poe seemed to falter for a moment but soon he launched back into his plan. "Considering your past, we want you to start a rebellion on Jakku." He said this conspiratorially "To destroy the system that enslaves people there and put a new one in its place."

Her brown eyes narrowed at the pilot "Jakku is a worthless planet where worthless things end up. How would it help the First Order let alone the Resistance?"

One of the other commanders nodded "Yes young one. It's a planet the Republic never reached because it wasn't worth going up against the outlaws." The others turned and kept their attention as he explained further. "The inner rim is tightly held in the hands of the outlaws and the resources we could get from them are impossible unless we take one and loosen that hold."

"Exactly, it's a starting point. But the people there deserve a different way to live. You know better than anyone." Poe pleaded as the other members tacitly agreed.

"But why me?" she whispered wondering about her place in this.

The pilot gave her a trademark smirk "You're Rey." He announced as if that explained everything, but thankfully he continued "Your story is a compelling one, C'mon the orphan setting the planet free? It writes itself!" Rough calloused hands slammed on her shoulders forcing her to focus only on Poe's fiery eyes. "It's gotta be you, you can help us keep this flame alive."

Watching him she could see the frantic passion that took over him at times, slanting her eyes she looked to the General. "You won't be doing this alone." The General said with a sense of authority "We'll help you. This flyboy is crazy but he's right it would be best for Jakku and us if it was you." The General walked to the table and crossed her hands atop her cane. Following her lead, everyone joined at the table as they explained the details to Rey.

While Rey still wasn't sure of her diplomatic abilities or even of her success rate on previous missions, she left knowing that this was her mission. And with help, she would free Jakku.

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Reviewing yet another report Kylo Ren groaned and began rubbing his eyes in frustration. "Idiots" he muttered "Cowards" He growled and leaned back in his chair irritated.

"That's what happens when you lead through fear. You get idiots and cowards." Rey spoke making herself known but still, the Supreme Leader didn't open his eyes yet and so that voice continued "What's wrong?" it wasn't her question the prompted him to respond bu the very obvious concern that she showed.

Finally opening his eyes he saw her, standing with a hip cocked and a worried expression marring her features. Initially, he thought to bark at her, demand her to not ask questions, but that felt wrong. Then he thought to deflect her question but that too felt wrong. There was no deceit or manipulation in her she was simply concerned. She was concerned for him, and he cherished that. "My Ambassadors are cowards. They keep making excuses to avoid meeting with the Senate," he explained with a huff as his frown deepened.

Raising her hand to absently scratch at her shoulder Rey thought for a moment. "Well, maybe they don't think their position is strong enough and are afraid they will only disappoint you even if they tried."Taking a step closer she continued "Maybe talk with them, see if they are worried about their position if they are you can embolden them to be not so cowardly."

Thinking her words he had to admit there was sound logic there in her form of leadership. Curiously he leaned forward "And if they are just cowards who won't speak up. what then?" He wondered what she would do if presented with such a situation. Would he naievity show itself?

She sighed and shrugged "Count your blessings and fire them now." She said with a calmness he hadn't expected from her. "If they are just "Yes" men then they are useless to you. Your advisors and ambassadors need to be strong and smart enough to tell you when your policies are stupid." She began and leaned on her back foot crossing her arms. "And if they are too afraid of your opponents, then it isn't the right job for them anyway."

Listening to her explain her point made sense and he felt himself agreeing with her. "I'll take it into consideration." He said softly while turning and making a note in his schedule to hold such a meeting. He stood and collected a glass of water for himself. Snoke had demanded all agree with him through fear and manipulation. If Kylo wanted to achieve his dream of a better galaxy he would need to find another way to lead.

With his mind clear and calmer he finally noticed her attire "Off to the desert?" He asked as she set down his empty glass.

Hesitantly Rey nodded, would she tell him the full truth? "Yes, I'm going to Jakku." She explained wondering if that was the right move as she had just given away her location. But they weren't enemies and she had his word and so even as her heart raced she trusted him.

HIs eyes widened slightly at her honesty and the trust she had shown him. For a moment he floundered "Jakku..." He trailed off for a moment before refocusing "That has to bring back some uncomfortable memories for you." He mused and moved closer to her wondering why she would return to that planet. 'Has she left them?' He wondered and tried to ignore the hope the bloomed and burned in his chest at the thought of her leaving the Resistance.

Rey looked to the ground and picked at her threadbare pants "yes." she whispered it was something that had clung to the back of her mind since the meeting. Being back on Jakku how could she not recall all the pain, the heat, the isolation she had lived through.

Her hurt tone distracted him from dreams of her leaving the Resistance. He knew how painful it was to talk about this subject with her. The silence clung to them but it didn't feel wrong. It felt like it needed to be there. Silently Kylo came to stand beside her watching her emotions play out. Pain, hurt, anger and sadness flashed across her mind but still, he said nothing.

Rey frowned at the floor the anger catching up with her finally. "How could they do that?" She seethed between clenched teeth. Anger held fast to her, her body tense with anger she had never let herself express.

He remained her quiet companion, her silent audience to witness the rage that had been building since she was so small. He shook his head having no answer "You deserve to be angry." He spoke softly and crossed his own arms to curb the desire to hold her and offer some form of comfort. "Anyone would be angry."

"But I don't get to be!" Her head snapped up to meet his eyes - the rage plan on her face. Glaring at him for a moment she shifted her attention to glare at the wall instead "I have to be everyone's hope Or else I'm turning to the Dark Side." She growled out

Kylo shrugged "Is there anyone else but me and you here?" he asked and only continued when she shook her head. "Then you get to be. You don't have to be my hope, your Resistance needs that. HIs arms tensed but he pushed through trying not to think of her cursed Resistance. "And we both know I'm not afraid of you. Dark or Light." He scoffed and her responding scoff tugged at a smirk wanting to make itself known but his face remained impassive.

Again silence came as their companion but a storm was brewing in her, body tensing rage building until she let loose a guttural scream. Panting from the exertion "They were selfish kriffing people!" she yelled and stalked closer to the wall as her tirade continued "And I was the idiot that thought they could be better. That there was a good reason for being abandoned!" Shaking her head her arms flung to grip tight at her hair, tears building in her eyes. "They never cared. Probably don't have a heart between the two of them!" she scoffed and spun to face Kyo hands curled into fists at her sides. "If they had a heart they would have never sold me!" she screamed.

Silently he watched her, brow creasing as he saw her face contort in pain and rage. With such raw emotion there is never the right thing to say and so he listened to her rant and scream even if her words made no sense. When she finally calmed he stepped forward arms falling to his sides "You survived the only way you knew how." he whispered reminding her of the strength that young girl had to stay hopeful in such a hopeless place. "And now you are going back, and you can make it so that doesn't happen again." He watched her panting tears threatening to spill as he continued "You have a heart. Despite all that you went through. You are better than they ever deserved." His voice was resolute leaving no doubt as if his words were fact. And to him it was fact.

The silence made walked among them again as his words seeped into her mind. Eventually, the storm stopped and Rey moved forward to stand in front of him. Holding his gaze for a moment she saw his compassion for her, he wasn't afraid. She had been awful to him - sometimes deserving - and yet he never ran from her. She let loose a sight before leaning her forehead against the expanse of his chest, Resting there she used his heartbeat, steady and strong, to calm her.

Suddenly feeling her weight on his chest had him freeze for a moment as he hoped she wouldn't notice his heart speed up at the contact. He should push her away but instead, his arms rose to gently lay on her shoulders, savoring the moment. "Rey?" He whispered not wanting to startle her.

Slowly she lifted her head and rubbed away any evidence of her tears, as she moved his hands dropped to his sides as he watched her take a steadying breath. "You're right." she nodded and straightened her stance "I'm going to change it. No more slavery...The Resistance will help me." she spoke with more resolve as she placed a tentative grasp back onto her hope for the future.

Anyone could see she was worried at the prospect but excited too. He wondered why she would doubt herself so much when he knew just how incredible she was. "It won't be easy." He said softly "If you want help all you need to do is ask."

Rey was slightly shocked at his offer. No matter how many times she had rejected his offer he still extended his hand. A soft smile tugged at her lips as she nodded. Unlike all the other times it didn't feel like he wanted to lead her. This time it felt like he only offered to walk beside her. "I know." She whispered.

There they were, one happy to receive support and the other happy to provide it. Each assured and comfortable in their arrangement.


	11. Trust

AN:

Being back under Jakku's harsh sun was not something Rey had anticipated for herself since leaving the harsh planet. Yet, here she was. She made sure to land her small freighter beyond where even the most desperate of scavengers dared to tread. Beyond where even she had feared to go even with her speeder. Carefully she covered the ship as best she could with tarps and a healthy amount of sand.

Taking only the essentials in her small pack and wrapped in linen with goggles to protect her eyes she began the long trek to the outpost. Using her staff to help her during her walk. With only her thoughts Rey tried to stay positive. She clung to the hope that had been a part of her for so long. Being back under Jakku's unrelenting sun again was more disturbing than the young woman would care to admit. She needed a distraction, but the seemingly never-ending dessert landscape offered nothing to pull her from those thoughts.

Instead, she thought back to her last discussion with the ever-mercurial Kylo Ren. It had been odd, to say the least, as she raged and he remained so silent. From Finn, she had heard stories of his rage and random acts of destruction. She knew how ferocious he could be, first hand. Yes, anger seemed to be a constant companion for him. And yet, he tried to understand her. He was the one to bridge the gap that had grown between them since Crait. She wondered if even now they would still be ignoring one another if he had not spoken first. "Probably" she scoffed acknowledging that both of them were outrageously stubborn.

The more they spoke the more she noted how much they just worked, and it terrified her some days. When she saw him she should feel dread, anger, or even fear instead she would feel excited, happy and strangely calm. Of course, there was conflict, between what she did feel and what she should feel. How could she ever hope to explain to any of her friends? How could she ever explain that it was alright for her to speak with him let alone anything else? She wasn't even sure how to explain to herself how she felt in his arms. All at once her heart would race and calm like she wanted to be nowhere else but had no clue what to do there. A part of her knew that she affected him, as his breathing would change - subtly but it would change. To distract herself as she walked she tried to label this feeling she had in his arms _'Home'_ the thought sparked in her mind stoking the flames that had started to burn inside her. He shouldn't be, but he was Home to her. A tenuous home, easily capable of collapsing in on itself but a home.

Stopping to rehydrate herself Rey looked around at the miles and miles of sand surrounding her. At one time this place could have been called her home, but that wasn't true. Jakku was a place she had lived for many years. Amid the sand, the carcasses of a battle that ended long ago, and of course the other scavengers. That had been her life for so long. A nervous energy ran through her as she thought about being on this planet. Could she leave? Would someone take her ship and leave her stranded here again? At this first signs of her panic, Rey shut her eyes tensing each muscle in her body only to slowly release and repeat the process until the panic began to subside. _'All I have to do is ask and someone will come for me.'_ She assured herself that Rose, Finn or Poe would come along with most of the Resistance.

And Ben, he would find her. He wouldn't hesitate and would use everything he could to get her off this forsaken planet. As a child, she had told herself that someone would come, back then it all had been a lie but now she knew it was true. Even if she was back on this planet she could never be alone. Not anymore.

Rey put away her canteen and continued her journey. Finally, she climbed up a dune and could see the outpost waiting for her. Still as destitute and treacherous as ever. As a young girl, it was only her hunger that pushed her to brave the outpost, now as a woman it was her mission which drove her forward. Rey would change it all, with her own skills, the Resistance, and even the Supreme Leader to help her she would change everything.

* * *

"That'll be all Ambassador you are dismissed." The Supreme Leader's cold voice announced before disconnecting as the holo faded into a quick blue line before disappearing altogether. He stood as he had been throughout the meeting pondering its results. Rey had been right his ambassadors had seen flaws in his plans, and after discussing it with them and making some minor changes they had a better plan and they were moving forward. Although he knew she had been right, if they failed him again they wouldn't live to see the next day cycle.

Turning he looked around his office, it was militaristic in its simplicity with only what was strictly needed to do his work. There had been talks of creating another throne room, but he had decided against it. He wasn't going to be Snoke, it would have been easy to become the type of Leader his old master was. Consciously he had decided that he wouldn't, he was going to be a Supreme Leader that actually got things done. With Rey's advice that was proving to be true - of course, he wouldn't tell her that.

Kylo had intended to return back to his screens and reports but he paused as he spotted Rey, she seemed to be talking to someone. Wisely he decided to remain silent and observe her from afar. The sounds around him muddled as he focused only on her and her voice.

"I have no delusions that any of this will be easy. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try." She had spoken in a voice that held steel in it, a resolve that kept her back straight as she spoke "Tell the others, we can do this but we'll need the numbers. I'll meet with you to finish the plans. Get things ready." Kylo watched as she seemed to pat someone unseen on the back and seemed to be shaking hands imparting motivational statements as she bid these unseen people goodbye.

Of course, he couldn't see the others in her meeting but it was clear that she was leading. While pride swelled in him as he watched her show off that steel she had in herself. Meanwhile memories of another brave woman providing motivation as she bid her allies goodbye. The past tugged at his mind, Kylo resisted and forced his focus to count the freckles on Rey's face or the mended tears in her clothing.

Only when she saw that the last of the scavengers had left did she close and seal her dwelling for the night. She was glad that it had remained where it was. Sure some things were gone, taken after she left but here it was. When she was content that her shelter was secure she finally turned to look at her quiet companion. "You're quiet." She said as she took in his appearance, all stiff back exuding control and power.

Kylo nodded at her observation, taking measured steps to stand in front of her only an arm's length away. "You like that I'm quiet," he responded with his own observation.

Flustered Rey gave a non-committal shrug. "I guess" she muttered as she began "It's just weird." turning from him to settle her small cot for the night "Not many want to listen to the opinions of a scavenger or a Jedi." Her voice small as she prepared her area.

"You're no Jedi" He scoffed "A powerful Force user but no Jedi." Shaking his head slightly he pondered where she would fit between the two, that position seemed to change daily. _'Somewhere in between'_ he resolved for himself.

She let a glare at his scoffing. Of course, she knew that she was no Jedi - but she still didn't like it when he pointed it out. Taking a breath she focused on her bedding instead. Thinking of their connections with the Force pulled on the curiosity that was ever present in her life. Sitting down on her bedding and pulling her dark blanket from its place to surround her "When was the first time you used the Force?" she asked.

Her blunt question jarred him slightly from his trance, it was still a shock to see that she not only kept his cloak but continued to use it. Her question brought up memories he'd rather forget. With a sneer, he narrowed his eyes "Speak to your General if you want to ask about her family."

Unfazed from his hostility Rey only shrugged "But I don't want to." she began "I'm asking you." Her voice soft as she was open with her curiosity watching him soften and that sneer to fade from his handsome face. "If you don't want me to know...I can understand that." She shrugged before curling in on herself just a fraction, preparing herself for his rejection.

He had expected her to demand an answer to her curiosity, and yet again she surprised him. She was only curious and she wanted to hear it from him. While he wouldn't tell her he was rather familiar with others not caring to listen to his opinions just because of some title on his head. He let loose a sigh and moved closer to her, pulling a chair to sit with her. Staring across from her he spoke in a quiet voice "I think it's been my whole life." he began "but the first time I can remember is as a child." he shook his head slightly "I can't remember how old, but He was leaving." Pulling his hands together he gripped them strongly and dropped his gaze to those clenched fists trying to find the strength to keep talking.

Silently she moved a hand out from her cocoon and gently placed it atop his fists, "Keep going." she urged marveling that he would open up to her, urging him to continue.

His eyes stayed on their hands and at her urging, he continued "I demanded he stay. And when that didn't work I lost myself in a rage." Slowly his hands unfurled and his glove covered thumb brushed across the top of her hand. "According to the droids I destroyed the room. My caretaker had fled, fearing for her own safety." For a moment he swore he could hear her screams and the crumbling of the very structure of the building. For the second time, he felt the past tugging at his mind demanding his focus. Instead of losing himself in the memory he decided to focus on the back of her hand, committing the small hand to memory.

"That sounds awful for you," she whispered and when he finally met her gaze she had to hold herself back from reaching out to hold him, wanting to shield him from the memory.

It was easy to hear the compassion she had for him in her voice, but still, he had to check if it was true. Looking into her expressive eyes he could see it was there, she had compassion for him. Just as he did for her. As many times before, he found himself wanting to pull her closer to surround himself in her presence as if that would make everything okay. He needed to think about something else, and his own curiosity was a good distraction. "What about you?" His voice a whisper leaning forward slightly.

A stray black lock of hair caressed the side of his face, and for a moment she fantasized that she would casually reach out and push it back behind his ear. She found herself wondering if his hair was as soft as it looked, and how it would feel gliding between her fingers. He held such pain in his eyes and there was a primal need to take it away from him, to comfort him. His question pulled her attention back to their conversation, although she was happy that he leaned closer to her. "I didn't use to think it was the Force, I thought I just got lucky." A half smile accompanied her whispered words. "But I guess it was the Force. I don't know how old I was either." She shrugged and her eyes dropped to their joined hands.

"Go on" Kylo whispered gently holding onto her hand as his thumb absently swept back and forth across her knuckles as he watched her face intently.

A sigh escaped her as she thought about the incident. "I found this downed ship a lot of the parts were still pretty good." his gentle swiping helped to keep her grounded as she focused on the gentle pull of his glove covered hands. "They wanted to steal my haul. I couldn't let them." She whispered "There was five of them and all older. But I hadn't eaten for days. I needed that haul." For a moment she could smell the rusted metal and the desert wind that had surrounded her that day. "I guess the Force helped me win that day."

He could almost see the fight she must have found herself in, fighting for her very life. His anger reared its head but he held it in check, not wanting to frighten her. "Tell me who they are, I'll make sure they don't do that to anyone else." His whisper hoarse, hoping she would let him exact vengeance.

She shook her head, soft wisps of brown hair floating as she kept her gaze on their hands. "No." She said with conviction before continuing in their hushed tones. "Two of them were here tonight, they are going to help me change this place." Her other hand joined its twin to hold onto his fingers gently. "They were desperate, hungry too. That's what this place does to people." her voice cracked under the pain this planet held for so many. "Desperate people do awful things to each other, and even worse things to survive." Wincing as she remembered other girls, just like her that weren't so lucky. Her hands clenched onto his for a moment as a memory of a man holding her down by her throat forced its way into her mind.

He wanted to demand she distance herself from her old attackers and let him kill them all. But he remained silent listening and watching. Seeing her wince and clench his hands he bent his head trying to catch her eye. A tremor of terror could be felt in their bond, but from what? "Rey...what-"

"Let's just say it's not good to be pretty on Jakku." She interrupted "I was luckier than most. I never-" she paused trying to calm her racing heart. That man wasn't here, she had gotten away. But that night she made sure to hide any idea that she could ever be considered pretty or even a girl again. "They never got me." Her voice was hushed as she asserted this before snapping her eyes to his dark eyes.

While his eyes had stayed locked on her he could almost see the beast who held her down. He could feel his rage rise up in him like hot flames. His hands tightened on her own for a moment, while of course, he wanted to tear apart the vile creature he found himself wishing he could hold her close and shield her from the pains of the universe. Be it in the past present or future. That rage, having nowhere to go, turned in on himself as he could not protect her. He had failed again. _'Weak Ben...too weak'_ that sinister whisper came and touched his mind once more. Trying to push the thought from his mind he focused on the soft brown of her eyes, and how they seemed to be unsure. Trying to school his features to smooth any lines his rage caused he spoke in an attempt at a soft tone - trying to hide his anger from her. "It must be hard for you to talk about it." He offered to try to push everything aside and focus on her.

Rey had watched as he waged with his anger. It was surprising that he was trying to hold it back, while he hadn't been very angry with her in their talks she knew he was a person that ran into his anger head first and impulsive. It was strange to see him try to rein it all in. The deep baritone of his voice and his hands on her own helped to focus on where she actually was. A soft shake of her head "No, I mean it is hard to remember sometimes." She admitted before looking back to their hands. "I'm sorry." She whispered as her shoulders slumped hunching in on herself. "I've learned it's not easy for people to hear. Finn was all out of sorts when he learned about it." While she knew Finn had reacted out of affection for her, it was still a bit shocking to have him fly off the handle. And stifling to have him treat her like a damaged thing, babying her every step for at least a week. She valued her talks with Ben and dreaded that the same would happen.

Kylo was shocked as she apologized. That shock turned into a mild panic as she curled into herself and for a moment he irrationally thought he was losing her. That if he didn't pull her back he'd lose her forever. That was something he could never abide "Rey." He said demanding her attention, and while she kept her focus on their hands he waited till it seemed that she was listening. "You have nothing to be sorry about." He started even as he felt shame creep down his back at his reaction. Focusing on the different types of brown in her hair he continued "It was a part of your life. You did nothing wrong then or in telling me now. I wish...I could have been there to stop it. Only because you should have never had to deal with that." As her shoulders drew back he took that as a good sign and kept going "But you did...you survived. Just as you've survived so many other things." His voice stayed in a soft tone, quiet but clear "You're remarkable."

The young woman raised her head at his compliment, that was not the reaction she had expected. "Ben..." She trailed off as she looked at him, gently she squeezed his hands while taking in a steadying breath. "Thank you." She whispered, while her eyes danced around his face trying to imprint it in her mind. Thankful that he saw in her what she saw in herself - a survivor, a victor. Not a victim that was some damaged thing he had to care for.

The dark man shook his head "No Rey, thank you." He whispered, matching her tone. "I'm..." He thought, searching for the right words as he pinched his lips for a moment "I'm honored that you trust me." He sat still, not entirely comfortable being so vulnerable, so weak with her.

A quick flash of a half smile came to her face as she shook her head, eyes going back to their joined hands. "Oh, Ben...I trust you much more than I should." She whispered her admission, noticing the small white scars on her hands and just how soft his own hands were.

The silence hung over them like a warm woolen blanket, comfortable and yet itchy at the same time. Both unsure how to handle their vulnerability with the other. Slowly Kylo's head bowed to look at their hands as well, marveling how small and dainty her hands were compared to his larger ones. Casually her turned one of her hands over the run his thumb across her palm and the soft callouses she had. "Beautiful." he all but breathed, not entirely aware he had spoken.

Rey watched his hand move her own and noticed that same heat behind her ears, she hoped it would stay there and no travel as it had before. It was when her heart began to race, wishing he would pull her into his arms, that she gently pulled her hands back to herself. She busied her hands by getting more comfortable in her cot even as they itched to touch his soft large hands again. As she laid down she turned to look at him, fascinated by his dark hair. She sighed and looked back to the cot. "Being back here, it's harder than I expected." Her eyes looked to him wondering if she should make her request, or if the embarrassment would be too much for the desert girl.

He found himself wanting to grab her hands again as she retreated, but he let her slip out of his hands like water. Although now he didn't feel like she would be lost to him, thankfully. Clasping his hands he sat up straight while he watched her appear to get ready for bed. Kylo noticed an unasked question hanging in her eyes he sighed "What do you want me to do?" He asked hoping he wouldn't have to wait long for her request.

"Just talk" she rushed out in a breathy voice, not wanting to lose her courage in making her request.

A curious frown came over his features, showing his bewilderment at her request. "Talk about what?"

Rey looked at her dark blanket that was once his cape, worrying the edge as she spoke. "Anything I don't care" That heat came back behind her ears and she was sure that it was traveling across her face. "I like it."

His breathing halted for a moment at her soft words, she liked his voice. Why did that affect him so much? He saw the touches of red on her face and wondered if the heat he felt on his neck showed the same red. Clearing his throat he nodded deciding to tell her a tale "There was once a planet that valued culture and education above all else. Together the people there created many beautiful things. The people on this planet valued helping others, and during the Clone Wars they wanted to help refugees." He began "A senator came to the conference to help them achieve that goal. But a Bounty hunter tried to assassinate the beautiful senator. What the bounty hunter didn't know was that a padawan was present as well, and she thwarted the attempt and beat him. And the planet was able to complete their conference and help war refugees." He finished in a soft voice, trying not to focus on the woman who told him the story or how she had told it better.

Rey smiled "That planet sounds wonderful...a wonderful fantasy." She said watching him, trying to keep this story and his voice present in her mind as she calmed into sleep's grasp.

Kylo watched as her eyes began to drift close and her breathing slowed to a more comfortable pace. "Goodnight Rey."

"Night Ben." was her breathy barely conscious response.


	12. Plans

AN: Thank you for all those reading. Hope this chapter finds you well. I apologize for the inconsistencies in updating. I hope to be better about that going forward.

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If anyone knew just how stubborn the Scavengers of Jakku could be it was Rey. And so she found herself tracking down scavengers as the went out in search for a good haul, talking to them about her plan as she assisted them in their work. Sure some thought she was trying to steal their haul for her own, and others thought she, of course, had an ulterior motive in not taking what would normally be her own share. But they listened as she talked about her plan to free them from Unkar Plutt and establishing a better way. Most had no clue as to who she was but after her own special brand of persistence, they listened. Some declined but thankfully most agreed to a liberation. Rey felt a sense of accomplishment among her own little rebellion, even if they hadn't completed their goal she was still shocked at how far they were. When none before had gotten this far, at least to her knowledge.

While Rey was excited about their liberation, she was also fearful. As part of the Resistance, she was a fighter, a cog in the machine. Here she was calling the shots. Here she was responsible if the plan fell apart if people died. Many would probably die in their plans, and she'd be responsible for each one. It made her more cautious and sneaky in her plans, and that fear pushed her further to take on more missions. She was returning from a mission to Carbon Ridge, cold night air ruffling her protective layers. Once she had been spotted as Rey of Jakku, she had to leave her old home and find a new place - one she could form the base of her rebellion. Carbon Ridge was the best choice, as Unkar would never mention it after his repeated failures. Yet, where he had failed Rey had succeeded. They had found the Imperial base hidden there and with some help, she had begun making weapons from the scraps left behind. Unkar would never give up Nima Outpost willingly, force would be needed to take it and her little rebellion would need every advantage it could get. That was her element, repairing broken things. She would've been happy to stay in the hidden base quietly working on those broken things. But she was needed elsewhere.

Quickly she found herself back in their humble hanger and jumped off her speeder. Removing her goggles she noticed an older man coming towards her "Rey did you get it?!" he called out in a rough yet excited voice as he moved quickly to walk beside her.

As they walked she skillfully removed her protective gear depositing it on a table as they walked down the metal hall. "Of course I did." With practiced ease she pulled out a small datapad from her pack, flashing it at the older man before hiding it away again. "It's time Alec." She spoke with an energy that only Rey could have. A strange savage yet childlike glee as she all but skipped down the hallway.

For his part, Alex stared incredulously at her as he followed her through the derelict base. He sighed and continued in a gruff annoyed voice "We've talked about this, we need to find-"

Rey deftly spun around with that same impish grin, gracefully walking backward. "The rations? The water?" patting her pack she continued "The plans to his bunker, the location of his stashes and the water. Even his off-world contacts. All right here. We got the Blobfish!" She pumped her fist in the air before entering a decrepit conference room, which the scavengers had fashioned as their base of operations for now.

Clapping a hand on the shoulder of a young woman who was tinkering with a blaster Rey smiled. "We got some good news, gather the others it's time to make some plans." Moving over to the main table to pull out the datapad in question along with a few other finds. Throwing a stray ration packet from her haul and tossing it into the pile.

The young woman for her part broke into a wide grin before sprinting out to gather the others. This was the break they needed, a big question had been where were the rations? and Where did he get them? Now they had the answers and Rey intended to take full advantage of it.

In a few short hours, those she trusted were surrounding the table discussing the data she had collected. What was once a simple scouting mission had turned into their biggest break. Rey had demanded that a scouting party be sent to confirm the intel, which would be easy enough as Scavengers are good at that. The only part that had them bickering or debating, depending on whom you asked, was the contacts. Rey leaned back arms crossed against the wall listening as the others had different plans on how best to use this particular data. Quietly she stood mulling over what her next actions should be.

Focusing so much on the matter at hand she hadn't noticed that subtle shift in the Force, and soon Kylo stood beside her. It was a few moments before she noticed the imposing figure of Kylo Ren in a set of relaxed sleeping attire - of course, it was black. Idly she wondered if he would look as good in dark blue as he did in black. Thankfully he interrupted her idle thoughts "Rey." He greeted in that deep timbre of his. Carefully she nodded and pointedly looked at her surroundings.

"Ah, you aren't alone." He mused clasping his hands behind his back, he mused at how often she was surrounded by others was in direct contrast with how often he was utterly alone.

Watching him change his stance fascinated her for a moment. Normally his stance would make him imposing even terrifying to a weaker mind, but now in his sleeping clothes, he was far from imposing. Instead, the stance only served to exaggerate his already large frame. For a moment she was caught between chuckling at how he seemed to be playing the part, and admiring the exposed skin of his arms and neck. Feeling that heat starting to creep in her chest she shuffled and refocused her attention on the conversation. And she would have succeeded in ignoring him had he not be so distracting - even though he simply stood stock-still. Clearing her throat she pushed off the wall and flung her arms to her sides "Let's take a few moments to gather ourselves and reconvene shortly." She spoke with authority trying to mimic the certainty the General had exuded among the Resistance. Only when she saw a few heads bob in agreement did she grab the datapad and moved to leave the room to find a secure location, eyes flitting back to make sure her dark partner followed her.

When they were finally alone she turned to him directly "Ben." She greeted with a sigh. She knew she wanted to ask his opinion, but should she? Should she trust the Supreme Leader? For a moment the fear she'd learned throughout her life came back. He must have noticed the change, she reasoned, as he relaxed his stance and those dark brown eyes seemed to take on a warmer gaze. Letting out a breath she had no idea she was holding, she went with her gut and trusted him again. "I found some information for freeing Jakku from Unkar and we are trying to figure out how best to use it." Starting there she explained carefully to not give too much information but enough to give a broad idea.

As Rey spoke Kylo for his part listened intently, crossing his arms he thought on her predicament. "It probably best for you to meet his contacts." He began thoughtfully "Stealing the contract out from under him would ensure your people aren't left without a way to get supplies. It'll be a tough sell. Any business person won't welcome a regime change, things get unstable when that happens." He explained and watched her take the information he swore he could almost see the gears turning in her mind about how to handle it, and that same meddlesome warmth came back.

The brunette nodded "I think that's going to be the best way forward." She sighed leaning onto her back foot and rubbing her neck "Now I just got to get the Crimson Dawn to take us seriously and agree with us, no big deal." A small smile broke at her half-hearted joke, which vanished when she looked back to his face.

He would have been happy to have helped had she not mentioned the contact's name, as fear gripped him tight and that warmth from before turned ice cold. "What did you say?" He whispered before his face morphed from shocked to enraged, fear playing out horrible fantasies in his mind of her meeting such a criminal organization. In a flash, he crowded her space all but growling "You aren't meeting with them."

Had this happened to any other person they would have flinched as he invaded their space, but this was Rey and she stood firm unafraid of the towering figure of rage. His voice came off yet again as a command, and she would have none of it. "You don't command me." She snarled at him brow furrowing to match his own.

His breathing came out harsh, teeth-baring against her blatant defiance. "Are you insane?!"

"Are you?!" She snarled back "You said it yourself this is the best play for my people."

Towering over her one would think that she would be the one in the more vulnerable position, instead, he was. There was nothing he could do. A shout ripped from his throat as he turned from her first. "You're insane." He snapped taking a few steps away from her, trying to quell the fear and the rage waring in his mind. He needed a clear head to convince her to not be a damn laser brain.

His shout didn't shock her, but the fear she'd seen in his eyes before he turned did. Waiting for a moment in the silence Rey watched him carefully. Tense shoulders, large hands balled into fists at his sides, the man seemed to almost be vibrating. One would assume with rage - especially as it was Kylo Ren. But Rey knew better, she'd seen him in the throes of his rage, no this was something else. This was fear, surrounding his mind. Taking a tentative step forward she spoke softly, curiously "Why are you afraid?"

At her simple question, Kylo froze, It was unnerving how easily she could read him. "I'm not afraid." came the defensive reply "I'm just annoyed at how stupid you're being, walking into a trap that could kill you." He sneered as he turned to face her

 _'So it's this game again.'_ She thought snidely before crossing her arms and cocking her eyebrow "Wouldn't it be better for you if I was dead?"

Saying the word aloud seemed to give his fear more power as it sparked his rage even further. Surging forward his large hands unfurled and gripped onto her tan shoulders with an intensity neither were expecting. "Don't you dare say that." He growled as he brought his face a mere hairsbreadth away from her own. Dark eyes wide watching her soft brown eyes, trying to imprint the way gold seemed to flare around the iris just like the sun.

Feeling the warmth from his bare hands was a shock to her, but the pressure was there and undeniable. Feeling the ragged puffs of breath on her face was new, holding her still. As he inspected her, she did the same watching worry widen his eyes. She swore she could see the darkness of his fear swirling in the depths of those eyes. "Then don't lie." She whispered, "Not to me." Gently she raised a hand to lay atop his own, the smooth skin feeling hot beneath her calloused hand.

Closing his eyes, his head bowed slightly. Of course, she knew he was afraid even if neither of them knew why. "Let someone else go." He whispered back nearly begging as his grip slightly lessened.

Following her instinct, she rested her forehead against his own taking the moment to memorize the smattering of marks on his face. "No." She whispered "This is my responsibility. I need to see it through." Quietly standing her ground, as she knew it was the right call. Feeling him tense again she continued "I'll go with a team, it'll be good to show them we can be a more stable option than that piece of scum."

Opening his eyes he kept his gaze on her slender throat, she was determined. Tense but not afraid, spry and ready to spar with him. She could handle this, just as she'd handled so much else. With that thought, the oppressive darkness of his fear began to slowly fade. Slowly he raised his eyes to meet her own "Select your team well." he whispered, a threat lingering in the back of his voice as he promised himself that should the Crimson Dawn go against her that he would rain fire down upon them.

Smirking she leaned back, patting his hand "Of course I will, my people are the best of Jakku." Pride tinting her voice as she spoke of her people. She relaxed as once again the tornado that was his fear and anger flew off like a summer's breeze.

A snort and nod was his response as he let his hands fall from her shoulders, trying not to focus on how it felt to hold them even for a moment. He stayed close as he calmed, worry still clouding his features. "You know they are slavers." He warned watching her closely. "It's likely part of their current deal is supplying or being supplied, slaves."

Disgust marred her features as she shook her head. "That's not going to be a part of our deal." She snapped, defiantly

Keeping his eyes on her Kylo shook his head "It doesn't work like that Rey." He spoke gently, as he knew - better than most - her abhorrence of one of the oldest businesses: slavery. She needed to see that this wouldn't work like the fantasy in her mind. She'd need to bend her morals, and her morals were so strong he worried she wouldn't bend but break instead.

"It will this time." Rey snapped back. "I'll make them see-"

"See what Rey? They don't care that it's vile or that willing people make better workers." Kylo snapped coldly, the horrid truth as harsh as any lash. "They only care about how it affects their money. Money and power are the only languages they speak, you go in there with your morals and good intentions and you might as well be speaking Huttenese to them." Standing he watched Rey wage a small war with the truth. Did he enjoy his role as the monster tearing away her dreams? No. But he was the monster and it was needed.

No one would notice the shift in her stance, signaling that voice of self-doubt of hopelessness was clawing at her mind. But of course Ben noticed, and she hated that he knew. Eyes cast to the ground she frantically scrambled in her mind trying to find some way to keep slavery out of the deal. It was her turn to bare her teeth in frustration. "Parts, people to repair those parts, grunts, and the pleasure hut that's all they use Jakku for," she spoke aloud trying to come to some solution "That's all the reasons they'll keep sending supplies." she murmured teeth worrying her bottom lip as she fretted over this.

Crossing his arms Kylo set his mind as well, there had to be a middle - or at least something close to the middle. And then it hit him, "A hiding place." he whispered, not even sure if this would be that extra bargaining chip but maybe, just maybe. Seeing her pace he slowly reached out an arm in front of her halting her movements, when she finally looked up at him and held his gaze that's when he spoke. "You have a base that can house your people right?" he asked ignoring the slight narrowing of her eyes before her nod. "Good, are there more places like your base on Jakku?" he asked.

Rey watched him warily, but at his mention of other places like her base, she relaxed. "I'm sure there are, we can find them." The gears continuing to turn "we could give them a place to hide. Anyone who comes to Jakku never wants to be found, and what better place to hide than in a place no one remembers."

"A commodity only the scavengers of Jakku could give, and only to be given with their help." He continued their line of thought

"Slaves will sell out their owners, but free people. People will die for their freedom, people won't talk to keep their freedom." While she finished formulating their bargaining chip. It wasn't as much of a shock when she felt the urge to embrace him, happy to have found a solution and happy for his help. She wondered if he felt the same urge or if it was only her. Instead, she nodded and said a simple quiet "Thanks"

Slowly the bond began to fade. Rey gave a simple wave of her hand, and with a perplexed expression, Kylo copied the movement just before they faded from one another.

The Supreme Leader stood there, dumbly, for a few moments before shaking himself out of the trance she had put him in. He needed at least some rest. Climbing into bed he thought of the way it seemed like she wanted to draw him close and of the way he seemed to call out for her to hold him. That fire grew, and that warmth helped to lull him into dreams of a certain young woman and the embrace that hadn't happened.


	13. Blood and Sand

AN: Trying to get better about updating. Still getting used to battle scenes. Thanks for reading and have a good day.

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Finding other bases had been quick work for the Scavengers of Jakku, they knew the Sands. They knew the hidden spots that could make easy bases for those that needed a place to hide. The meeting had gone well, their plan had worked. It wasn't a total victory, the pleasure hut would stay. The parts scavenging would stay, but at least slavery would stop. No one would be owned on Jakku, not anymore.

Rey sat in silence going over the plan one more time in the quiet bunker. The teams would call in confirm the capture of the supplies, the water reservoir, and his base. Once that was done, her team would go to work. She'd lead the attack on the outpost, the explosions would go off. People would flee, her team would advance. The blowfish would try to hail reinforcements but none would come. And then he'd be jailed, just as she was- just as they all had been before being forced to do the same work he'd forced on all of them. It was justice. Or as close to Justice as the people of Jakku would get.

"The Loth cat is captured" Came the crackle over the comm as the last team checked in, it was time. Jumping up Rey flew into action. Staff in hand she ran out as she gave the next signal in her comm "Light it up!" She called as she came to stand in the center of the outpost, feeling the adrenaline coursing through her as she waited.

When her comm chirped twice she knew it had begun. "Unkar Plutt you will answer for your crimes!" She screamed causing most to stop and for the bane of the planet to pay attention to her just before the first bomb went off. Stepping forward more joined her as she went. Another explosion.

Then it was chaos. People fleeing, her scavengers charging, meeting the guards in combat. This was war, smaller than the First Order and the resistance, but the same. Then Alec fell "No!" She screamed out and quickly shot a blaster at the offending party while she dragged him to cover. Blaster bolts whizzing overhead, her teams giving cover fire.

When she had them in cover Rey checked him quickly "Hold on old man!" She called out as she held him. No answer came, instead another of their team took over. "Get back out there!" The scavenger screamed at her as they took Alec from her arms. With him out of her arms, she noticed the blood staining her. If they lost, it would be for nothing.

Her brown eyes narrowed, hardening as the young woman focused on her battle again. Whether he lived or died, Jakku had to be freed. She had to win. With a savage snarl, she jumped from her cover staff connecting with the first enemy she could find. His meager helmet had no chance against the blow as more blood stained the sand. More fell. And there, hiding behind a wall of men with blasters was her prey. "Kill them all!" that was the order from the blobfish.

Rey had to dive to the ground to avoid the blaster fire. Scrambling across the sand for cover she tried to plan. Anyone still at the outpost had chosen to be a part of this fight, whichever side. She could let go, hopefully, there'd be no civilian casualties. Peaking over her cover she fired into the fray before diving on the other side and making a run on her prey. Calling out to the Force his men were blown away. Then she was running towards him.

In a flash, she leaped over his meager cover and knocking him to the ground. "Yield Plutt!" She roared commanding the defeated foe, a blaster trained on him. A kick to the knee was her only answer. Knee buckling, blaster skidding away. Scrambling to regain her footing she barely jumped back as one of his guards tried to strike her with some blunted object.

Quickly falling back into a fighting stance with her staff she blocked and parried. Making some strong hits of her own, until he grabbed hold of her staff. Twisting it from her grasp she dropped to the ground. Grabbing a shard of metal she swung out her leg. Catching her opponent's legs he crashed to the floor. Wasting no time she jumped onto him. Stabbing the shard into his neck. Once. Twice. The third time she left it in the dead man's neck.

Blood marring her features she rose to face her prey once again. Disarming him was easy enough, her rage feeding the Force around her. Now he was a few steps away. Both weaponless, at least to the naked eye. She should call for him to yield. But looking out at the blood seeping into the sand, the bodies, the flames. No the time for surrender was over. He had to die.

Raising her hand she glared as he laughed at her, not knowing the danger he was truly in. One moment laughing and making obscene remarks the next he found himself coughing. Slowly he rose in the air. The pressure on his throat tightening. Rey watched as he struggled for air. Just like she used to struggle for food. Like so many struggled to survive. Like many who didn't survive.

The Force roared around her, it had never been so loud. And there her dark partner was, standing behind Plutt as he dangled in the air choking on her power. It felt right for him to be there, to see her power. She barely registered his wide eyes, the shock on his face as the scene played out. Rey watched Plutt continue to kick and claw at the unseen power around his neck.

Rey swore she could feel each vessel burst, she knew the searing pain he felt as he strained for air. Even as he fell unconscious she didn't let up. Let him strangle to death, slowly painfully. Mercy was never something he had given, why should he receive it now. Looking around she could see that she had every person's full attention. "Jakku can never be free while he breathes!" She called out rallying her scavengers. "Jakku will never be enslaved again!" She screamed glaring down the men who had defended the blobfish. Distantly she heard the cheers from the scavengers.

With her prey nearly dead she shifted her gaze to Kylo. He was stoic as he watched her. Never flinching. Panting she could finally smell the scent of blood in the air, the heat from the flames behind her. The ache in her bones. But more importantly, she could feel Plutt's life slowly leaking out of him. She wouldn't drop him until she was sure he was dead. She couldn't risk it. The Force raging around her wouldn't let it happen.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity the body she was holding let go of the life inside it. "He's dead" She spoke in a cold tone, sure that all she held was a body now.

Calmly Kylo nodded "Drop him." He said slowly, and finally, she let go. He fell unceremoniously in a heap of flesh. Rey maintained eye contact with her dark partner as he picked up a metal spike and raised it above before thrusting it through the slaver's head pinning him to the ground. And then her dark partner was gone. Instead, she was surrounded by the cheers and frettings of her scavengers. The battle won.

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When the connection finally severed Kylo stumbled back for a moment. The dark side of the force was so strong it might as well have been the very air she had been breathing. He should have rejoiced in her use of the dark side, instead, he felt worried for her. How long until she lost herself to it? Could he stop her from being lost to it? He more than anyone knew what it took to use the dark side of the Force. Yes, the anger was there, but the fear- the pain was always stronger. Breathing deeply he hoped she'd be able to claw her way out of the dark. Closing his eyes he hoped that she'd still be Rey, the girl that he had heard so much about. The girl that he knew so much about. The girl he had begun to care about.

"Supreme Leader, they need you on the bridge." Came the sharp tone of a lieutenant drawing him out of his thoughts. Pushing that warmth to the side, and locking it away he opened his eyes, cold as ever. Turning to the lieutenant he nodded "Thank you, lieutenant, fill me in on the way." He ordered as he walked towards the bridge.


End file.
